IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests

#move #town #school #son #achievements #scope #interests
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madame, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing to express my interest in my son's attendance at your school. We are going to move to
this
 city from another one located five hours by car.
That is
 why I am planning everything before our new relocation. It is important to mention that, despite
he
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 really intelligent,
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 only 10 years old, he has some trouble in his vision and can not see perfectly.
Nonetheless
, he has achieved high-level scores in all subjects. Despite his incapacity, he is provided with a marvellous memory and he is willing to do all necessary to improve himself.
Accordingly
 his interests, he
keens
Correct your spelling
keeps
show examples
 on in Maths, because he is notably good at numbers. I have been researching various academies in
this
 area, and yours is the most convincing to me for my son, because of your variety
programmes
Change preposition
of programmes
show examples
, specifically about mathematics. I would be deeply grateful to you if you offered him a chance to learn and grow at your interesting college. I look forward to your prompt response. Sincerely, Katya.
Submitted by lydiagarcia.gr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases (e.g., 'accordingly his interests' should be 'regarding his interests'). Consider revising these to improve clarity and fluency.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph concentrates on a single main idea to enhance readability and coherence.
structure
The letter has a clear structure with a proper greeting and closing, which helps maintain a formal tone.
task achievement
The response addresses all the points required by the task, providing detailed information about the son's academic achievements and interests.
suitable writing tone
The writing tone is formal and appropriate for the context of writing to a school principal.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: