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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that to be successful in sport you have to be physically strong However, other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion,

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
Some people
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that being a champion in sports requires
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
body
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that brain
strength
Use synonyms
 is more important than physical
strength
Use synonyms
 . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss which is more important and why
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my view
Body paragraph 1
First of all i think that ball games like
hand ball
Correct your spelling
handball
,
basket ball
Correct your spelling
basketball
,
football
Correct word choice
and football
show examples
doesnt
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 depend
entire depending
Replace the word
entirely
 on physical
strength
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 is because they need to run
jump
Punctuation problem
, jump
show examples
 and
many
Verb problem
do many
show examples
 other things,
And
Correct determiner usage
and a
show examples
 strong physical
body
Use synonyms
 helps them preventing injures.
while
Linking Words
 sports like
runners
Replace the word
running
,
Use synonyms
body building
Correct your spelling
bodybuilding
,weight liftting depends mostly on
body
Use synonyms
strength
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand
mental
Punctuation problem
, mental
show examples
strength
Use synonyms
 helps you to work under pressure.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when you have a hard exam
normal
Punctuation problem
, normal
show examples
 people will be worried
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the marks
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads them to forgetting their
answers
Punctuation problem
answers,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 people who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 mental
strength
Use synonyms
 will be calm and they will remember their answers. Or when a player
shhots
Correct your spelling
shoots
 a penelty new players will miss the penelties
while
Linking Words
 old players that grew their mind
strength
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will score a goal as peacie of cake.
Conclusion
in conlusion i belive that having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
body
Use synonyms
strength
Use synonyms
 is important,
But
Fix capitalization
but
show examples
 mind
strength
Use synonyms
 makes a champion
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 i think that mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is more important.

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task response
You discuss both body strength and mental strength, and you give a clear view at the end. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why each kind of strength can lead to success in sport.
task response
Your examples are useful, especially the penalty example. However, the exam example is not about sport. Use sport examples only, such as a tennis player serving in a final or a runner staying calm near the end of a race.
task response
Be more careful with the first main point. Football, basketball, and handball need both a strong body and a strong mind. Say clearly how body strength helps: speed, power, fitness, and fewer injuries.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow. Improve the first sentence of the introduction so it clearly says that you will discuss both views and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, focus only on physical strength. In the second, focus only on mental strength. Then give one clear sport example for each idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use “In the other hand”; write “On the other hand” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and have many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences. This will make your meaning clearer and easier to read.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you talk about both views and state that mental strength is more important.
task response
The penalty example clearly shows how calm thinking can help a player in an important moment.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion gives a clear final view: physical strength matters, but mental strength can help make a champion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses paragraphs to separate the main ideas, which helps the reader follow your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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