IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, *describe the training course you want to do *explain what the company could do to help you *say how the course will be useful for your job

7.5 / 9
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Dear Mr Hashemi, I am writing to bring to your attention a training
course
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, which will be held by Oxford University on September 25 for 2 weeks in the USA, and I would like to participate in the
course
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, as it can have a positive impact on my job. The
course
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 is about how to apply AI tools in the
workplace
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 to simplify responsibilities
while
Linking Words
 improving productivity in the
workplace
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, which can enhance employees' performance and enable them to concentrate on productive projects. I would appreciate it if you could allow me to take part in the
course
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 and pay the following costs, including
course
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, accommodation, and flights. I would
also
Linking Words
 be grateful if you could give a reference letter because it is asked by the University in order to complete the application process. I firmly believe the
course
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 can be both informative and useful, as if we use artificial intelligence in the
workplace
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, we will be able to save both time and effort
while
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 reducing the pressure in the
workplace
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. Thank you for your consideration and time. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

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task response
You answer all parts of the task. Add a little more detail about the course, such as what you will learn or do each day.
task response
Make your request more clear by saying if you need full or part payment, and how much time away from work you need.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: course, help needed, and use for work. Use a few linking words, such as “In addition” and “As a result”, to make the ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the last body paragraph, say more clearly how you will use the new skills in your own work.
task response
You clearly describe the AI course, ask for support with costs and a reference letter, and explain that it can save time and effort at work.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are polite and suitable for a letter to a manager. The paragraphs are easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • training program
  • professional development
  • skill enhancement
  • course objectives
  • align with company goals
  • financial assistance
  • time off
  • employee investment
  • career advancement
  • knowledge acquisition
  • performance improvement
  • competitive edge
  • industry standards
  • up-to-date techniques
  • strategic value
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