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Band 7

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities can cause serious problems. What are the serious problems? What measures can be used to solve these problems?

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Introduction
The relocation of citizens from rural to urban areas may result in grave issues , including the increasing of congestion volume and housing
prices
Use synonyms
 in the cities.
However
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, regulating accommodations' costs by the state and building an efficient transportation system are two viable solutions.
Body paragraph 1
Having individuals move from the countryside to the city will cause more street congestion. Since urban zones are usually crowded, they have residents.
Therefore
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, by welcoming more people, the traffic density will intensify
subsequently
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, which will detrimentally affect the environment by releasing more toxic emissions into the atmosphere.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will
also
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 increase the
prices
Use synonyms
 of living spaces, because of the high demand from the newcomers,
thus
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, landlords will raise their fares, which will even impact the locals.
For instance
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, in search of jobs, many Saudis from all around the country move to Riyadh , which has caused a surge in the cost of living spaces in the city.
Body paragraph 2
The government can assess these challenges.
First,
Linking Words
it can control the
prices
Use synonyms
 of housing using the regulatory tools, by implementing laws against any unfair practises
such
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 as placing a limit on meter
prices
Use synonyms
 when selling living accommodations by real estate developers, or implementing taxes on landlords that increase
accordingly
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 with the
prices
Use synonyms
 of their rental units.
Furthermore
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, the state can
also
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 build a public transportation system
that is
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 affordable and convenient , which could decrease the traffic flow since it will offer people alternative methods of transit rather than riding personal cars.
For example
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, many capitals around the world ,
such
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 as Riyadh, London, Paris and Tokyo, have efficient underground systems that serve the growing population of these cities.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the movement of citizens from farming zones to cities has resulted in higher traffic rates and higher housing costs, the government can confront these challenges by enforcing laws that control accommodation fares and building an efficient public transit system.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. You name two problems and two answers, but explain more clearly how each answer will work in real life.
task response
Make the link between the move to cities and high home costs more direct. Say that more people need homes, so there are not enough homes and owners can ask for more money.
task response
Use examples with care. The Riyadh example is useful, but it would be stronger if you gave one clear fact or a more exact case rather than saying many people move there.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make the first body paragraph easier to follow by using shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. For example, “Since urban zones are usually crowded, they have residents” does not clearly show why traffic will rise. State the cause and result in a simple order.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use too many commas to join full ideas. Split long lines into two sentences so the reader can follow your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words across the essay. Choose “housing costs” or “home prices” instead of changing between “living spaces,” “accommodation fares,” and “housing prices.”
task response
You deal with both the problems and the possible answers. Traffic and housing are very relevant points for this topic.
task response
Your public transport idea is clear and well linked to less car use and less traffic.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are in a sensible order: problems first, then answers, followed by a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover,” “First,” and “Furthermore” help show the move from one idea to the next.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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