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Band 5

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowdays
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Nowadays
,
students
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 prefer to learn online
inspite
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instead
 of going to universities and
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 classes. Some
people
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 consider that it is beneficial for pupils to attend physical classes as they can share ideas with their fellows about topics in which they are struggling. I personally believe that campus life is helpful in the sense of learning.
Body paragraph 1
On one side, there are
people
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 who hold the view that online education is becoming common among
students
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. Because online learning offers
flexibility
Punctuation problem
flexibility,
show examples
 as
students
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 can study any
time
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in
Change preposition
, from
show examples
 any place.
However
Linking Words
, those
students
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 who do
part
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part-time
time
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 jobs can balance their studies and work at the same
time
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 with the opportunity of
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , online studies save transport, accomodation and other costs.
For example
Linking Words
, online learning has become very convenient
in
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during
show examples
 the
time
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 of Corona virus as the government shut down all educational institues that sitution compeled the
people
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 to
learnonline
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learn online
Body paragraph 2
On the other side , I think campus life teaches you more
affectivilly
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effectively
 as compared to online study. The main reason is that
by
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apply
show examples
taking
class
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classes
show examples
 physically in front of lecturers
enhance
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enhances
show examples
 your confidence as you can ask direct questions and get instant feedback.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
also
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 good for your communication skills as you interact with different
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 helps you in improving personality as you can express your views very well.
Furthermore
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, in
unversities
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universities
, group studying helps student for understanding of complex concepts.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views are commonly held, I personally take the position that campus life is far
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better than online as it grooms personality and communication skills.

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task response
You discuss both online study and university study, and you give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why each point matters for learning. For example, say how group work helps students understand hard ideas.
task response
Your online-study example is linked to the topic, but it is not fully developed. Explain that during COVID, online classes let students keep studying at home when schools were closed.
task response
Give a more balanced view before your final opinion. You could say that online study is a good choice for people with work or home duties, but university is often better for young students who need help and social contact.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it with a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “However” should show a clear opposite idea. In the first body part, “For example” would work better before the point about students with part-time jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or unclear. Write shorter sentences to make your meaning easy to follow. For example: “Online learning is flexible. Students can study at any time and from any place.”
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words in a clear way. Choose “online learning” or “online study” and use it often, instead of changing between many forms.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your points are relevant. Flexibility, lower costs, feedback from teachers, and communication skills all fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it uses clear paragraphing: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion clearly repeats your main view and gives reasons for it.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online learning
  • distance education
  • university-based courses
  • face-to-face interaction
  • flexible schedule
  • study at one’s own pace
  • recorded lectures
  • self-discipline
  • time management skills
  • lack of motivation
  • direct feedback
  • academic support
  • campus life
  • social interaction
  • peer learning
  • group discussions
  • practical training
  • career opportunities
  • transport and accommodation costs
  • a blended learning approach
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