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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the min legal age for driving a car or motorbike.To what extent do you agree/disagree

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
Some people believe that the
age
Use synonyms
 limit is unnecessary to have a driving licence. But, I believe that increasing the min legal
age
Use synonyms
 for driving a car or motorcycle is important to improve road safety.
Body paragraph 1
I think that increasing the limit
age
Use synonyms
 to 18 is mandatory because at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 our kids are more mature,
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
 and confident. They can respect the road rules.
Also
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
, they are busy with their college life.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, kids under 18 are still in ruch to represent themselves and show up with their friends. Hormones
are controlling
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
 most of their decisions. They can't see the understant the result of their actions.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some kids under 18 more responsible than adult but ,
overall
Linking Words
 increasing the min legal
age
Use synonyms
 for driving is the best way to improve road safety.

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task response
Make your opinion more exact in the first part. Say that you agree that a higher legal age can improve road safety, but it is not the only way if that is your view.
task response
Develop each main idea. Explain how greater maturity may lead to safer choices, such as not driving too fast, following rules, and not driving after drinking.
task response
The idea that young people are busy with college does not clearly show why roads will be safer. Replace it with a direct reason about driving skill, risk, or rule following.
task response
Add one clear, real example. For example, a young driver may drive too fast to impress friends, while an older driver may better understand the danger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, the second body part repeats the first idea. Give it a different job: explain the risks of younger drivers in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the order of your ideas: First, Also, For example, As a result, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. Start with a topic sentence, then explain it, and then give an example or result.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence stronger and clearer. State your final view directly, and avoid adding a new idea in the conclusion.
task response
You give a clear view that raising the legal driving age can help make roads safer.
task response
You include relevant ideas about maturity, rule following, and the wish to impress friends.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the overall form is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words such as “On the other hand” and “although” to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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