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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that students should learn from teachers in a classroom, while others believe that online learning is a better way to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about how
students
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 should learn. Some
people
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 think
students
Use synonyms
 should learn from teachers in a
classroom
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. Others believe online learning is better. In my opinion, learning in a
classroom
Use synonyms
 is better because
students
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 can get help from the
teacher
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.
Body paragraph 1
People
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 who support online learning have one good reason
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 it is easy to study at any
time
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.
Students
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 do not go to school, so they do not waste
time
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 on the road.
For example
Linking Words
, a
student
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 can study at night after his work. He can learn when he feels fresh, and
this
Linking Words
 helps him remember more.
This
Linking Words
 is good for
people
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 who are busy, which makes learning easier for them. Because of
this
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, many
students
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 finish their lessons and do not stop studying. So online learning helps
students
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 who have little free
time
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, I believe that learning in a
classroom
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 is better, because
students
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 can ask the
teacher
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 for help.
For example
Linking Words
, a
student
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 does not understand a math problem. In the
classroom
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, he asks the
teacher
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, and the
teacher
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 explains it in two minutes. The
teacher
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 sees his face, so he knows when the
student
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 is confused. Online, he may wait a long
time
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 for an answer.
This
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 makes the
student
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 feel lost, and he may stop trying. Because of
this
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,
students
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 in a
classroom
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 learn faster and make fewer mistakes.
This
Linking Words
 is why I think the
classroom
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 is better.
Conclusion
In conclusion, online learning is easy and saves
time
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 for busy
students
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.
However
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, I believe that learning in a
classroom
Use synonyms
 is better, because
students
Use synonyms
 can get help from the
teacher
Use synonyms
 quickly.
This
Linking Words
 is why the
classroom
Use synonyms
 is the better choice.

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task response
You discuss both ways of study and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, add one more clear point for each side. For online study, you could write about more choice of classes. For class study, you could write about working with other students.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit your main ideas. The math example is useful. Try to add a more real example, such as a busy parent who studies online after work, or a class where students help each other.
task response
Your own view is clear from the start to the end. You say class study is better because help from the teacher is fast. Explain a little more why this help is more important than the time saved by online study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: start, online study, class study, and end. This makes it easy to read. Keep this four-part plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to show how ideas are connected. You already use “For example”, “However”, and “Because of this” well. You can also use “Also”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand” when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines repeat the same idea about teacher help and online study saving time. You can join these ideas and use the space for a new point or a fuller example.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you show both views and clearly give your own view.
task response
The reasons are easy to understand, and the examples match the points you make.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear idea, so the reader can follow your writing without trouble.
coherence and cohesion
The last part clearly brings back your main view and gives a short end to the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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