Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some people believe that extensive use of computers and mobile phones
have
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has
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detrimental effects on
reading
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the reading
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and writing capabilities of teenagers. I completely agree with
this
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statement
and
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, and
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i
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I
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will explain
reason
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the reason
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in the following
parargraphs
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paragraphs
.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,
nowdays
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nowadays
people
spent
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spend
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much of their time on social media for different purposes. Students quickly read different articles and blogs as it
easy
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is easy
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for them to scroll and move to
next
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the next
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topics.
However
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,
its
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it's
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become very difficult for them in reading physically because its demand proper attention to understand concepts.
Moreover
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, digital appliances have
diminish
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diminished
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their critical thinking.
As a result
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, analysing university handouts for them
become
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becomes
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impossible.
Finally
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,
this
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leads to depression and anxiety.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, pupils who take the help of
chatgpt
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ChatGPT
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for writing essays are putting themselves in real trouble. Because understanding of grammar for them is very crucial in real life for writing complex
sentence
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sentences
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.
Furthermore
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, excessive assistance from
google
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Google
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or
by
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apply
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artificial intelligence
limiting
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limits
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their
habits
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ability
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to write
themselves
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for themselves
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.
In addition
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, autocorrection by computers is
also
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detrimental for children as they will become
tension free
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tension-free
of memorising spelling.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, computers and
moblie
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mobile
phones are toxic for individuals. Because adults have become addicted to it. They don't wait a second of

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree fully. Keep this clear view in every part. Explain more how phone and computer use harms reading and writing, not only health. The point about depression does not directly answer the main question.
task response
Give one clear, real example for each main idea. For example, say that short social media posts may make students less able to read a long book, or that auto-correct may stop them from checking spelling by themselves.
task response
Finish the last sentence. Your ending stops in the middle, so it does not fully sum up your ideas. Write a short final paragraph that restates your view and the two main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. This is a good basic plan. Make each body part stay on one main point: reading in the first part and writing in the second part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show cause and result. For example: “As a result”, “For this reason”, “Also”, and “However”. Make sure each link fits the idea after it.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas move too fast. After each main point, add one or two sentences that explain why it happens and what result it has. This will make the writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very broad claims such as “computers and mobile phones are toxic for individuals.” Use a more exact ending about young people’s reading and writing skills.
task response
You give a direct answer to the question and keep the same view from the start.
task response
Your points about fast scrolling, AI help, auto-correct, reading, spelling, and grammar are related to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “Moreover”, “Furthermore”, and “To sum up” helps the reader see the main parts of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part mainly discusses reading, while the second body part mainly discusses writing. This is a sensible way to organise the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Autocorrect
  • Informal language
  • Internet slang
  • Short-form communication
  • Proofread
  • Traditional writing norms
  • Comprehensive reading
  • Visual media
  • Interactive learning
  • Engagement
  • Learning difficulties
  • Spellcheck
  • Complex sentence structures
  • Engaging platforms
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