Many children today are overweight. Give reasons for this and give solutions to fix it.

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Introduction

Children

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are overweight today.

This

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is a serious health problem.

This

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issue has become worldwide.

This

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essay will examine the reasons for

this

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problem and how to solve it permanently.

Body paragraph 1

There are several reasons why many

children

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have become overweight nowadays.

Firstly

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children

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are addicted to the internet.

For

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example

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, they spend all day surfing the internet and playing video games.

Also

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, they do not do any physical activity.

Secondly

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, junk

food

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availability is a vital reason for

children

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obesity

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For instance

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children

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can order from any restaurant just by using an application.

Moreover

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, restaurants depend on

children

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's online orders as their main income, which means that restaurants will provide them with many exclusive offers.

Finally

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parents

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' lack of awareness is a reason as well.

For

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example

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parents

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do not complain about their

children

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surfing the internet all day and not doing any kind of sport.

Furthermore

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children

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do not realise that

obesity

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is a serious problem that will put their lives in danger in the future.

Body paragraph 2

There are some excellent ways to solve

this

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serious health concern.

Firstly

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children

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should play sports in their free time.

For

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example

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, doing low-intensity cardio sessions would help them to keep fit.

Also

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, they should do any sport that requires strong stamina.

Secondly

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children

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have to pay attention to the

food

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they eat.

For

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example

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, they have to eat healthy and organic

food

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rather than eating empty calories.

Moreover

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, they have to avoid junk

food

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due to

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its high calories.

Finally

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parents

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have to participate in their

children

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's health.

For

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example

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, they must raise awareness for those who suffer from

obesity

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Furthermore

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, it may cause death, affect their lives and change them completely.

For instance

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parents

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must put limitations on their

children

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Conclusion

In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are many reasons that cause

children

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obesity

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However

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, there are many solutions we can take to end

this

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issue and solve it for good.

alfred

Oct 4, 2026

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task response

You answer both parts of the task: causes and ways to help. To make your ideas stronger, explain how each cause makes children gain weight. For example, say that long hours online mean less movement and more time for snacks.

task response

Some points are repeated, such as online use, sport, and junk food. Use fewer main ideas, but explain each one more fully. This will make the essay feel more clear and complete.

task response

Make the solutions match the causes more closely. Schools can give more sport time, parents can plan healthy meals, and the state can limit ads for junk food made for children.

task response

Be careful with very strong claims. Instead of saying obesity will cause death, say it can lead to serious health problems later in life.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, causes, solutions, and end. Keep this shape, but make the links between ideas smoother.

coherence and cohesion

Use one main point in each body paragraph section. At times, the point about restaurants and special offers moves away from the main idea. Keep the focus on why easy food leads to poor eating habits.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. You use 'For example', 'Also', and 'Furthermore' often. Try simple changes such as 'As a result', 'In addition', and 'This means that'.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are not fully linked to the sentence before them. For example, after 'parents have to participate in their children's health', explain exactly what parents should do before giving more details.

task response

You give several clear causes, including too much screen time, easy access to junk food, and limited help from parents.

task response

You give useful answers, such as more sport, healthier food, and a stronger role for parents.

coherence and cohesion

The reader can follow your ideas easily because you use clear paragraphs and signposts such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally'.

coherence and cohesion

Both the opening and ending clearly state the main topic and bring the essay to a close.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

behave
better
punished
rewarded
believe
effective
arguing
immediately
unwanted
fear
pain
good
actions
praise
treated
learn
positive
feedback
happy
feel
repeat
future
create
problems
rather
learn
wrong
caught

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