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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The widespread
use
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 of computers and smartphones has raised concerns about their impact on young
people
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's reading and writing abilities.
Although
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 excessive dependence on these devices can weaken independent literacy
skills
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, I largely disagree that their increasing
use
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 is inherently harmful because they provide young
people
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 with greater access to information and opportunities to develop these
skills
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major benefit of digital devices is that they give students easy access to a vast amount of written material.
Instead
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 of relying solely on textbooks or spending considerable time searching for resources in libraries, young
people
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 can find academic articles, books and educational websites within seconds. Regular exposure to
such
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 material can improve their reading
skills
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 by introducing them to different writing styles, vocabulary and ideas.
Moreover
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, computers make writing considerably more convenient because students can draft, edit and reorganise their work easily.
For example
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, a student preparing an academic assignment can consult several reliable online sources and revise their work repeatedly before submitting it.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, excessive reliance on technology can have negative consequences, particularly when young
people
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use
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 it as a substitute for independent thinking and writing.
This
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 problem has become more evident with the growing availability of artificial intelligence tools. Students can now generate essays and summaries within seconds, which may discourage them from developing their own ability to organise ideas and construct sentences.
Similarly
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, spending excessive amounts of time consuming short online content may reduce the time young
people
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 devote to reading longer and more demanding texts.
Therefore
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, the problem is not the technology itself but the way it is used.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I largely disagree that the growing
use
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 of computers and mobile phones necessarily harms young
people
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's reading and writing abilities.
While
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 excessive dependence on digital technology and AI can weaken independent literacy
skills
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, responsible
use
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 of these devices can provide valuable opportunities to read widely, access information and improve writing.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: you mostly do not agree. You answer both sides and keep the main point clear. To make the answer even stronger, add one more real and clear case for each side, such as a student who reads a full book online or a student who uses AI to do all of their work.
task response
The main ideas are good and stay on the question. The part about AI is useful, but you could say more about mobile phones, not only computers. For example, you could explain how phone alerts and short posts can break up reading time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one main point, and the order is clear: good sides first, then bad sides. The ending also matches your main view well.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “Moreover”, “However”, “Similarly”, and “Therefore”. Try not to use too many links at the start of sentences. You can also join ideas with simple words like “because”, “so”, and “while” to make the flow feel more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part is a little full because it has both reading and writing points. You could make the flow even clearer by giving reading and writing their own short parts, or by using a clearer first sentence that says you will cover both.
task response
You give a direct answer and keep the same view all the way through the essay.
task response
Your points are relevant: easy access to reading, simple editing, AI use, and short online content all relate closely to reading and writing.
coherence and cohesion
The four-part shape works very well: opening, one good side, one bad side, and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
The example of a student doing an academic task helps show how online tools can support reading and writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Autocorrect
  • Informal language
  • Internet slang
  • Short-form communication
  • Proofread
  • Traditional writing norms
  • Comprehensive reading
  • Visual media
  • Interactive learning
  • Engagement
  • Learning difficulties
  • Spellcheck
  • Complex sentence structures
  • Engaging platforms
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