Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Introduction
In recent years, the amount of leisure time individuals devote to their mobile devices has increased significantly. There are several reasons behind
this
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trend, including the rapid technological advancement and the addictive interface of social media and games.
While
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some may argue that
this
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way of free time usage has its benefits, I believe
this
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development is largely negative, for reasons that will be discussed below.
Body paragraph 1
One of the primary reasons for
this
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phenomenon is the rapid pace of technological progress, which has transformed smartphones into devices that can handle almost everything, from communication to entertainment.
For instance
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, one can ”meet” their friends through a video call, without the effort of going out of the house.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, another contributing factor is the addictive design of apps, developed to provide everyone
a
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with a
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personalized
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personalised
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experience
while
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using
it
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them
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.
As a result
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, people are facing social media addiction, sometimes fighting to escape the infinite scrolling on their platforms.
Body paragraph 3
In terms of whether
this
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is a positive or negative development, I would argue that it is primarily negative.
This
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is mainly because excessive smartphone usage has led to a noticeable decline in social skills.
For example
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, individuals prefer communication through messages rather than interact face to face.
Body paragraph 4
Moreover
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,
although
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mobile devices have brought easier
acces
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access
to information and opportunities,
this
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convenience came at a cost. People have become more reliant on quick online searches than thorough research,
therefore
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lacking
prolonged
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a prolonged
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attention span and critical thinking.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the growing tendency to spend free time on smartphones can be attributed to the substantial progress in the technological domain and the
intentional
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intentionally
addictive design of popular apps.
Overall
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, I believe that
this
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is a negative development because it disconnects people from
real life
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real-life
experiences.

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task response
Answer both parts clearly, as you do now. To make your view stronger, explain more fully why less face-to-face talk harms people in real life. For example, say that it can make it harder to read feelings, start talks, and keep close friends.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one short, clear real-life example in each main paragraph. For instance, describe a person who checks short videos for hours instead of meeting friends or doing a hobby.
task response
Develop the point about online searches with more care. Quick searches do not always stop deep thought. Explain that the problem happens when people only read short answers and do not check facts or read more than one source.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons first, then your view. Keep this plan. Make the link between each main idea and your main view even clearer with short opening lines such as “This can harm real social life” or “This also affects the way people learn.”
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You use “For instance”, “In addition”, and “Moreover” well. Try not to begin too many paragraphs in the same way. You can also use simple links such as “Because of this”, “At the same time”, and “This means that”.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are not fully clear because the word “it” has no clear noun before it. For example, change “while using it” to “while using these apps”. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word forms and spelling so that the reader is not stopped: use “access”, “face to face”, “came”, and “a prolonged attention span”. Also use normal quotation marks or no quotation marks around “meet”.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view through the whole essay. You also cover both the reasons for phone use and whether the change is good or bad.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: phones are useful for many tasks, apps are made to keep users online, and too much use can harm social life and deep thought.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main job. The ending brings your key reasons and your final view together.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing and basic linking words well. The move from causes to effects is clear and natural.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
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