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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is an amazing invention. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
The world is very different today. Technology is a key reason for
this
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. The
internet
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 has changed how
people
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 live.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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.
Body paragraph 1
there
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There
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 are many
advanteges
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advantages
 to the
internet
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 .
first
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First
show examples
,
people
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 get information from
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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.
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
The internet
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 makes our life much
easeir
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easier
.
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for
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For
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 example student can study and get there informaion by using the
internet
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.
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second
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Second
show examples
,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
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also can
Correct word order
can also
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 be used to
comunicat
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communicate
 with
people
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.
for
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For example
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Punctuation problem
exampel,
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 many of peaple use email to contact each other.
and
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And
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people
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 can share
there
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their
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 photos
in
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on
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 social media to make
memory
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memories
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.
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finally
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Finally
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, one of the things that makes the
internet
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is
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apply
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amazing is
we
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that we
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 can use it to shop online.
some peaple
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Some people
 can
bay
Use the right word
buy
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 clothes online . so that
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 makes our life much
easiar
Correct your spelling
easier
.
Body paragraph 2
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on
Capitalize the word
On
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 the other hand , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 many
disadvantegs
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disadvantages
 to the
internet
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.
Linking Words
first
Capitalize the word
First
show examples
,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can waste our time if we
didn't
Wrong verb form
don't
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 use it in the right way.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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 example,some
people
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prefare
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prefer
 to stay all day
in
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at
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 home just to watch
movis
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movies
 online. so that
people
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 can't make
memorys
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memories
 or have good
moment
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moments
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 together.
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second
Capitalize the word
Second
show examples
,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has many problems from the hakcers.
for
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For example
exampel
Punctuation problem
exampel,
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 they can hack the bank
accante
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account
 and take
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 money .
so
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So
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this
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coust
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could cause
 a huge problem .
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finally
Capitalize the word
Finally
show examples
,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
know
Verb problem
apply
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can be used
with
Change preposition
by
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 so many
people
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 .
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for
Capitalize the word
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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people
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 on social media can get very bad
comment
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comments
show examples
 from
strager
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strange
people
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. so that they get
bollieing
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bolling
 from
people
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 thay don,t know.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that the
internet
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 has provided unlimited advantages to society.
However
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages which can have serious consequences.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the task. You give good points about study, contact, shopping, time, safety, and bad words online. To make the answer stronger, explain each point more. For example, say how online study helps students save time, or how a bank hack can hurt a family.
Task response
Some examples are clear, but they need more detail. Instead of only saying that people watch films at home, explain that this may stop them from seeing family and friends. Use one clear example for each main point.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow. Keep this four-part plan.
Coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. In the good side paragraph, you have study, contact, and shopping. These ideas are all good, but give each one a little more space or use fewer ideas with more detail.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Start with words such as “First”, “Also”, “Finally”, and “On the other hand”. Do not use “so that” for every result. You can also use “As a result” or “This means that”.
Coherence and cohesion
Check the order of ideas in some sentences. For example, write “The internet can waste time when people do not use it well” before giving the example. This makes the point clearer.
Task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of the internet, so your answer stays on the topic.
Task response
Your examples are relevant: students use the internet to study, people use email, and people can shop online.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion brings both sides together.
Coherence and cohesion
You use basic paragraphing and signposts such as “first”, “second”, “finally”, and “on the other hand”.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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