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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that working for yourself is the best way to have a good career. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Introduction
It is believed that
by
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, by
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 some individuals
being
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, being
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 self-employed is an ideal way to build a successful
career
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the main pros and cons of
this
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 idea, focusing on flexibility and
work
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–life
balance
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Body paragraph 1
First of all, there are many benefits of being a freelancer. The main one is the flexibility in how and when people
work
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.
This
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 means that if an employee has the ability to
work
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 anytime and anywhere without regulation, it can assess them in terms of time management.
Also
Linking Words
, because there are no rules in how the
work
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 is done, the employee is gaining sufficient experience ,
such
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 as problem-solving skills and decision-making skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some individuals thought that it
is
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was
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 the ideal way to have a great
career
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.
For example
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, numerous
of
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apply
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famous CEOs, especially those who
work
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 in the finance sector, had started as self-employed from their home as investment advisers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are several drawbacks to working by yourself. The most obvious one is
that
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apply
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the difficulty in having a life-
work
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balance
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.
In other words
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, if a person has chosen the self- employed path, it will be a challenge to maintain the
balance
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 between personal life and
work
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 life. To illustrate,
according to
Linking Words
 many influencers, the huge challenge surrounding them is that the management of their business and personal life, and because of that, they are finding it hard to be successful in their job . For that, a significant number of people find themselves struggling to have a great
career
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
 working by yourself can lead to great
career
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 opportunities by developing the needed skills, the biggest challenge is achieving a healthy
work
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-life
balance
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.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more even way. Explain why working for yourself can be good, then explain why it can be hard. Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more detail.
task response
Make the link to a good career clearer. For example, freedom can help people choose work they like, but it may also mean less steady pay and fewer work benefits.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. The example about famous CEOs is too general. Give one simple real-life case, or explain the case more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make each body part follow one clear path: main idea, reason, example, and result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the subject changes from self-employed people to employees. Use the same words, such as “self-employed workers” or “people who work for themselves.”
coherence and cohesion
Use links in a more natural way. “First of all” and “On the other hand” work well. However, “For that” is not clear here; use “As a result” or “Therefore” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Check key word order and phrases: say “work-life balance,” not “life-work balance”; “many famous CEOs,” not “numerous of famous CEOs”; and “difficulty of having,” not “the difficulty in having.”
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of working for yourself, so your answer stays on the topic.
task response
You choose useful main ideas: freedom at work and the problem of keeping work and home life apart.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion gives a clear final view.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are used well, and the change from advantages to disadvantages is easy to see.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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