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Band 7

It is often argued that children must be protected from unsuitable material on TV and the Internet by government censorship. Others say that this is the parents' responsibility to control what their children do and watch. To what extent do you think that this is true?

#children #tv #internet #government #censorship #parents #responsibility #control
In today's digital age, with the prevalence of TV and the Internet,
children
 are often exposed to unsafe information. The question of whether the
government
 should enact regulations to avoid
this
 adverse situation or whether parents should take full responsibility for supervising their
children
 has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, the
government
 must implement policies to mitigate
this
 issue. Advocates of
government
 censorship argue that it provides a necessary safeguard against harmful and age-inappropriate material that
children
 might encounter online or on television. In today's digital era, where access to various forms of
media
 is virtually unrestricted, regulatory measures are essential to prevent exposure to violence, explicit
content
, and misleading information.
For example
, age-based
content
 ratings and restrictions on certain types of
content
 can help ensure that
children
 are shielded from psychological and developmental harm.
Furthermore
,
government
 intervention can establish a standardized framework across
media
 platforms, ensuring consistency in
content
 regulations and enhancing public awareness of safe viewing practices.
This
 approach holds
media
 providers accountable for the
content
 they distribute.
However
, it is undeniable that parents play a pivotal role in monitoring and guiding their
children
's
media
 consumption based on individual needs and values.
Therefore
, the
government
 should prioritize establishing the first line of
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 in
content
 control, thereby enabling parents to collaborate in safeguarding the
overall
 well-being of their
children
. In conclusion,
while
 parental responsibility is paramount,
government
 censorship is necessary to reinforce protections against harmful
media
content
. A balanced approach that combines regulatory oversight with parental guidance is crucial in ensuring the well-being and development of
children
 in today's digital age.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument for the necessity of government censorship in protecting children from harmful media content. However, consider expanding the range of examples and evidence to make your argument even more compelling and specific.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use more transitional phrases and sentences to better connect your ideas and ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs. This will help in reinforcing the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a clear framework for the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You effectively balance the roles of both the government and parents, offering a nuanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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