Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
It has been suggested that nowadays
scientists
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and
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technlogy
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technology
experts
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more valued than musicians and artists. In my view, I agree
about
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with
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that.
Body paragraph 1
It is widely accepted by many individuals that
scientists
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and
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technlogy
Correct your spelling
technology
experts
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more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
valuable. They hold
such
Linking Words
a belief probably because
scientists
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and
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technlogy
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technology
experts
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can contribute to
society
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. The view can be best evidenced by the fact that the machine which bring convenience in our life. To put it in another way, the progress and development of
society
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requires
scientists
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and
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technlogy
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technology
experts
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.
Linking Words
Therefore
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Therefore,
show examples
scientists
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and
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technlogy
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technology
experts
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seem to be more valued by modern
society
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, we used phone and
ate
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eat
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food
everything
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; everything
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in our
life
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lives
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cannot
without
Verb problem
exist without
show examples
scientists
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and
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technlogy
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technology
experts
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. Especially medicine, medical
scientist
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scientists
show examples
their reacher help people cure our
ill
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illnesses
has a huge contribution,
make
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improving
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our fitness and health, prolong life-span.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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musicians and artists
their production
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apply
show examples
can bring
happy
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happiness
and fun
for
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to
show examples
us,
it
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and it
show examples
Linking Words
also can
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can also
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change our
life
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lives
show examples
.
However
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, the effect is limited, unable to make significant changes to
society
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
It
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it
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is safe to draw a conclusion that
althugh
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although
musicians and artists
valued
Verb problem
are valued
show examples
by
society
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but
Correct word choice
,
show examples
scientists
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and
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technlogy
Correct your spelling
technology
experts
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are more valuable to modern
society
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first part. Then explain why science and technology are more valued, but also show why art and music still matter.
task response
Give full reasons for both sides. For example, science can help health, travel, food, and daily life. Music and art can help people feel happy, share ideas, and know their past.
task response
Use one clear example in each main part. Explain the example step by step: what it does, who it helps, and why this makes it important.
task response
Avoid saying that art has only a small effect. This is too broad. A better point is that science may be valued more for life-saving work, while art is valued for joy and culture.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, science and technology, music and art, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with one clear main idea. Keep all the next sentences in that part linked to this idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, “In contrast”, and “Therefore” to show how ideas join.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences complete and easy to follow. For example, write “We use phones every day, and these were made possible by science and technology.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “scientists and technology experts” too often. You can also write “these people” or “they” when the meaning is clear.
task response
You give a clear view that science and technology are more valued in modern life.
task response
You include useful ideas about health, longer life, phones, and machines.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, main parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to compare science and technology with music and art by using “On the one hand” and “On the other hand”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • public safety
  • scientific research
  • technical expertise
  • practical solutions
  • medical breakthroughs
  • renewable energy
  • digital communication
  • highly paid profession
  • public recognition
  • emotional well-being
  • cultural identity
  • creative expression
  • raise social awareness
  • preserve traditional culture
  • quality of life
  • a balanced view
  • make a valuable contribution
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