Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

7.5 / 9

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Introduction

Modern society does appear to reward scientists and technology experts more generously than musicians and

artists

Use synonyms

While

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this

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emphasis is understandable, I largely agree that it reflects an imbalance, since the creative arts deserve far greater recognition than they receive.

Body paragraph 1

There are clear reasons why scientific and technological professionals are prized. Their work produces tangible, measurable results: vaccines save lives, engineers build infrastructure, and software developers drive economic growth. Governments and corporations

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Punctuation problem

, therefore

show examples

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

invest heavily in research, and graduates in these fields typically enjoy secure, well-paid careers.

By contrast

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artists

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often struggle with unstable incomes, and parents frequently discourage children from pursuing creative paths.

Body paragraph 2

However

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this

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hierarchy overlooks the profound contribution that the arts make to human wellbeing. Music, literature and painting shape cultural identity, foster empathy and offer comfort during difficult times, as the surge in creative activity during recent global lockdowns demonstrated.

Moreover

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, creativity is not separate from innovation; many technological breakthroughs, from product design to film animation, depend on artistic imagination.

Body paragraph 3

Admittedly, one could argue that basic needs

such

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as healthcare, food and energy must take priority over entertainment, and that scientific progress

therefore

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deserves greater financial support.

This

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is a fair point, yet it does not justify the social undervaluing of

artists

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. A society that measures worth solely by practical utility risks neglecting the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

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scientists and technology experts make indispensable contributions, I believe modern society undervalues musicians and

artists

Use synonyms

. Governments should fund arts education and cultural institutions more generously, so that both disciplines are respected as complementary pillars of a fulfilling civilisation.

martialtchoumbe

Oct 6, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear from the start and stays the same to the end. You answer the full question by showing why science and tech are valued, then why art also matters.

task response

Your main ideas are well explained. The points about health, work, money, culture, and human feelings all support your view.

task response

To make the answer even stronger, add one more real and clear example of how art helps people or how art and tech work together. For example, you could name a public music project, a film, or a design product.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a very clear shape: opening view, reasons for the other side, your main view, a fair opposite point, and a final answer.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main job, and the ideas move in a natural order. This makes the essay easy to read.

coherence and cohesion

Linking words such as “By contrast”, “However”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” are used well. Do not add more linking words just for show; the current amount is natural.

coherence and cohesion

You could make the link between the third and fourth paragraphs a little smoother by saying that public money may need to go first to basic needs, but respect for artists should still be high.

task response

The sentence about a society that measures worth only by practical use is strong and directly supports your main view.

task response

The lockdown example is relevant and helps show that the arts matter in hard times.

coherence and cohesion

The opening and closing match well: both clearly state that science is important but the arts are not valued enough.

coherence and cohesion

The opposite view is handled fairly before you explain why it is not enough. This gives the essay balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic growth
public safety
scientific research
technical expertise
practical solutions
medical breakthroughs
renewable energy
digital communication
highly paid profession
public recognition
emotional well-being
cultural identity
creative expression
raise social awareness
preserve traditional culture
quality of life
a balanced view
make a valuable contribution

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