It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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In our modern society, most people are questioning whether guardians ought to teach their
children
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right and wrong at an early age.
In addition
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, they
also
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think that there should be some sort of punishment towards
children
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. In
this
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essay, I will be discussing why I personally agree with
this
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statement ,and mention several ways in which parents
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apply
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and teachers can deal with Youngsters.   There are many ways to teach young people what is right and what is not, since they can learn quite fast when they are young and at the beginning of their life journey.
First,
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parents should teach their
children
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how to communicate with others in the right way, since it will lead to better relationships in their school environment or even on social media ,because, when parents do
this
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, the kids will know how to choose their friends wisely.
Second,
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Youngsters should be taught how to defend themselves if anyone bullies them at school or in a public park. A very good example of
this
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is when I was bullied at primary school
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;
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I knew how to deal with the situation without letting it affect my personality.  
On the other hand
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, families and teachers can play a crucial role in developing the young people’s actions because they can make a huge impact on their lives. Guardians ought to punish their kids if they do anything wrong ,so that they do not repeat the same mistake twice, which could have a negative impact on them.
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, if the family catches the
children
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bullying others through online platforms, their mobile phones must be taken away from them for a period so that they can think about what they did wrong.
However
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, not only can families take
this
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action towards their kids, but
also
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teachers if the student is not behaving properly.   On balance, young individuals ought to learn the appropriate and the inappropriate things in their lives, so they do not face any problems as they grow older in the future.

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task response
Overall score: 5. You answer both questions, but the first body part is mostly about teaching children, not about why punishment is needed. Say more clearly why punishment can help children see the result of bad acts.
task response
State your view more fully in the first paragraph. For example: “I agree that fair punishment is sometimes needed, but it must never hurt or scare a child.”
task response
Give more than one kind of punishment. You could write about saying sorry, losing play time, doing a helpful task, or a short time away from an activity. Also say why each one may work.
task response
Be clear about what parents and teachers should not do. Say that they should not hit, beat, or shame children. This will make your answer more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. Paragraph 1 could explain why children need to learn right and wrong early. Paragraph 2 could explain safe and fair punishments.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need more support. After each point, add a short reason or example. For example, if a child loses phone time after bullying, explain that this shows the child that online acts can hurt others too.
coherence and cohesion
Use “On the other hand” only when you show a different or opposite idea. Here, “Also” or “In addition” would fit better because the second paragraph adds to your first point.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats the main topic, but it should also repeat your view on punishment. End by saying that calm, fair punishment is better than harsh punishment.
task response
You give a clear view: you agree that children should learn right and wrong early.
task response
You give one clear example of a fair punishment: taking a phone away after online bullying.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple links such as “First”, “Second”, “Furthermore”, and “On the other hand” to guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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