Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
itCapitalize the word
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is clear that technology
overtookWrong verb form
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the entire world over
decade,
furthermore Correct word choice
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many young folks are overspending
on devices ,
thisCorrect pronoun usage
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can cause many side effects
suchPunctuation problem
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as poor reading and writing skills.
Body paragraph 1
iCapitalize the word
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strongly agree with
statement,
using technology mindfully with screen
moderation can
young
.
learning more about things
are
in, like new languages or
facts. etc
Body paragraph 2
althoughCapitalize the word
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,Punctuation problem
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children are most likely to spend hours on gaming or scrolling,
might
outcomeVerb problem
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poor social life and unfocused kids
, alternativelyCorrect word order
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puzzles or books are much better
thenUse the right word
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a computer or a
.
Conclusion
toCapitalize the word
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conclude i agree that overusing technology may lead to brain rotting and wasted
,Add a semicolon
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there is much better things
can be spent on .
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State your main view more clearly in the first part. You agree that too much device use can harm reading and writing, but you also say it can help. Explain how these two ideas work together.
Focus more on reading and writing skills. The essay talks about games, social life, and being unfocused, but it needs clearer points about how phone use may affect reading and writing.
Develop each main point with a clear reason and an example. For example, say that short posts may make young people less able to read long books, or that text messages may lead to poor spelling in school work.
Your example about learning languages and science is useful, but make it more specific. Explain how a learning app, with limited screen time, can help a young person read new words or write short texts.
Use a clear four-part plan: introduce your view, give one harm, give one limited benefit, and end with your final view.
Make the links between ideas clearer. Words such as “however”, “for example”, and “therefore” can help, but use them only when the next idea truly follows the first one.
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The third paragraph moves from gaming to social life, focus, puzzles, books, computers, and phones. Choose one main point and explain it fully.
Write in full, clear sentences. Avoid using “etc.” in an essay. Also check word forms and spelling, such as “benefit”, “individuals”, “interested”, “scientific”, “than”, and “smartphone”.
You give a clear overall view: too much use of devices can be harmful, while careful use can still be helpful.
You include both sides of the issue, with useful ideas about learning languages and spending too much time gaming or scrolling.
The essay has an opening, body paragraphs, and a closing. This gives it a basic and easy-to-follow shape.
You use some linking words, such as “furthermore”, “however”, “for example”, “although”, and “to conclude”.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.