IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Q. Giving lectures in auditoriums to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

3.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In
contemporary's
Check wording
contemporary
show examples
 society, people
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
 to give
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 presentation via projectors rather than giving lectures to the students.
This
Linking Words
 topic is
garnered
Verb problem
a
show examples
 significant topic and sparked widespread discussions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to take a
dip
Correct word choice
deep
show examples
 dive into its complexities surrounding it. I will partly agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
, as it will have both positive and limitations at the same time.
Body paragraph 1
To embark upon,
advance
Replace the word
advanced
 technology helps in preparing the lecture more quickly and
attractive
Replace the word
attractively
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
show examples
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 interest by
indulging
Verb problem
involving
show examples
 them in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 presentation by showing them pictures
along with
Linking Words
 the content.
For instance
Linking Words
, children grasp knowledge effectively with diagrams rather than with boring text letters.
This
Linking Words
 will create a sense to foster
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 attractions in the learning approaches.
Body paragraph 2
On the other
hands
Check wording
hand
show examples
, opine argued that sometimes it is not
as
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 effective method, since educators used to clear
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 doubts
then
Linking Words
 and there before reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the result.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
lecture
Add an article
a lecture
show examples
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 needs morals and ethical
value
Check wording
values
show examples
 which should be taught by
tutor
Add an article
a tutor
show examples
 rather than technology. To epitomise, teachers build a connection with the students which create sense of understanding
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it promote there attractions in other aspects like dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems or better communication skills.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, it is privelage to having a technology in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era, but it is benefical for some circumstances.
In addition
Linking Words
, the knowledge given by a educators valued more and considered
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
 of teaching.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view in a clear way at the start. Say that you partly agree because online study can help learning, but it cannot fully take the place of teachers and class time.
task response
Answer the key point more directly: should everything be online? Your essay says technology is useful, but it does not fully explain why all teaching should not move online.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and result. For example, explain how online pictures can help with hard ideas, then explain why live teachers can answer questions at once and give support.
task response
Use more exact examples. Instead of only saying children like diagrams, give a short class example, such as a science teacher using a model while students ask questions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph focus on one idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links correctly: "On the one hand" for the first side and "On the other hand" for the other side. Do not use phrases such as "To embark upon" or "To recapitulate" if you are not sure how to use them.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order of ideas clearer. In the first body part, write: online learning is visual, students may be more interested, and this can help them understand. In the next part, write: teachers can answer questions, build trust, and teach social skills.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about student interest. Add a new point instead, such as the need for face-to-face talk, group work, or help for students who do not have good internet.
coherence and cohesion
Check word use because unclear words can stop the reader from following your meaning. For example, use "their" not "there", "statement" not "statment", and "students' interest" rather than "their attractions".
task response
You give a clear partly agree view, and you discuss both the good side of technology and the value of teachers.
task response
Your examples about diagrams and teachers answering questions are linked to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an opening, two main body parts, and a final ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as "In addition", "For instance", and "Moreover", to join ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • in-person interaction
  • student engagement
  • multimedia tools
  • learning styles
  • blended learning
  • face-to-face sessions
  • interpersonal skills
  • access to technology
  • feelings of isolation
  • self-discipline
  • social skills
  • traditional classroom settings
  • educational accessibility
  • virtual classrooms
  • online platforms
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: