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Band 3.5

Some people believe that children should be given homework tasks from the time they start school. Others believe that children should be free to spend their leisure time as they see fit. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
The debate over whether young
children
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 should be given
homework
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 or free leisure
time
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 is ongoing.
While
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homework
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 fosters discipline, I believe early childhood should be mostly dedicated to rest and play.
Body paragraph 1
Proponents of
homework
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 argue that it reinforces school lessons and
instills
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instils
show examples
 good study habits from an early age. Completing tasks at home teaches
children
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time
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 management and responsibility, which prepares them for higher levels of education.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, young
children
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 already spend long hours in structured school environments. Free
time
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 allows them to rest, engage in physical activities, and develop social skills through unstructured play. Overburdening them with
homework
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 can cause stress and diminish their enthusiasm for learning.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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homework
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 builds discipline, young
children
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 benefit far more from free leisure
time
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 for their
overall
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 well-being and personal growth.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain each main point in more detail. For example, say how play helps a child learn, not only that it helps social skills.
task response
Add one simple real-life example for each side. For instance, a short reading task may help a child remember class work, while playing with friends may help a child learn to share.
task response
Your own view is clear from the start and again at the end. You could make it even more complete by saying what kind of homework, if any, is right for young children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one view, then the other view, then your final view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a little more linking between ideas inside each paragraph. Words such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “This means” can show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are well planned, but each body paragraph could have one more sentence of support. This would make the flow feel fuller and less sudden.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and clearly state your own view.
task response
Your ideas are relevant and stay focused on young children, school work, rest, and play.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear main idea, and the ending returns to that idea in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point, so the reader can understand your message quickly.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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