Children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. Give reasons and solutions.

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Introduction
Statistics have shown that compared to the past, the younger generation is less interested in being outdoors.
Therefore
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, society is convinced that it is crucial to find out the causes of and solutions to
this
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issue. I support
this
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view for the following reasons.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, modern technologies are replacing other forms of entertainment. To clarify, the online environment has become so developed and diverse that it is unnecessary to go out for a face to face communication or other types of interaction with people.
In addition
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, modern children are extremely perceptive and vulnerable to social pressure from the community.
Consequently
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, they choose to
minimize
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minimise
show examples
this
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influence by spending their time in a place that feels secure.
For instance
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, there are plenty of digital games like Roblox and Minecraft in which constantly updated characters and missions capture teenagers’ attention for hours.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, a method that could provide positive outcomes in
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situation is establishing a screen time limit.
As a result
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, it will encourage youngsters to use their imagination and inventiveness outside the internet.
Furthermore
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,
such
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a boundary is significantly more effective if it is complemented by quality time spent with adults. To illustrate, outdoor family activities that involve recreational sports like badminton, volleyball or table tennis play a significant role in encouraging children to embrace a more active lifestyle.
Conclusion
In summary, the underlying cause of the problem is excessive and uncontrolled use of modern technologies.
However
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, parental engagement and reasonable limits can have a positive impact on
this
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widespread phenomenon.

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task response
You answer both parts of the task: causes and solutions. To make the answer stronger, add one more clear cause, such as less safe streets, little green space, or more school work.
task response
Explain the link between each cause and staying indoors more fully. For example, say why fear of other people or social pressure makes young people choose home instead of outdoor time.
task response
Your solutions are useful, but show who should act. Parents can set rules and plan family time; schools and local groups can also offer safe, fun outdoor events.
task response
The game examples are clear and fit the main point. Add a real-life example for the solution, such as a family walk after dinner or a school sports club.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, causes, solutions, and ending. Keep this simple plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, such as “To begin with”, “Secondly”, and “In summary”. Use fewer linking words within one paragraph when they do not add a new step.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of the solution paragraph more direct. For example: “One way to solve this problem is for parents to limit screen time.” This makes the main idea easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words through the essay. You use “children”, “teenagers”, “youngsters”, and “younger generation”. This is not wrong, but “children and teenagers” is clearer and more steady.
task response
You give clear causes: online games and the wish to feel safe at home. You also give practical solutions: screen limits and outdoor time with adults.
task response
The examples of Roblox, Minecraft, badminton, volleyball, and table tennis make your ideas easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main focus, and the final paragraph clearly brings the main ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Your cause-and-result links are easy to follow, especially when you show how games can hold teenagers’ interest for many hours.
Your opinion

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