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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccines in order to prevent these diseases spread of disease. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In many countries,
vaccination
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 is becoming compulsory in order to prevent the
spread
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 of infectious
diseases
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. I believe
this
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 is a positive development because
vaccines
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 protect
individuals
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 from serious illnesses and help prevent outbreaks within communities.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, mandatory
vaccination
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 can significantly reduce the
spread
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 of dangerous
diseases
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.
Vaccines
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 prepare the immune system to fight particular infections, which lowers the risk of
people
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 becoming seriously ill.
This
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 is particularly important for children, elderly
people
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 and those with weaker immune systems.
For example
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, widespread
vaccination
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 has played an important role in reducing
diseases
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such
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 as polio in many countries. Making childhood vaccinations compulsory can
therefore
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 protect both
individuals
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 and the wider population.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, compulsory
vaccination
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 can help prevent large-scale outbreaks. When a high proportion of
people
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 are vaccinated, infectious
diseases
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 have fewer opportunities to
spread
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 from one person to another.
This
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 provides indirect protection to
people
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 who cannot receive certain
vaccines
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 for medical reasons.
In addition
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,
vaccination
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 programmes are often provided free or at a low cost by governments, making them accessible to a large part of the population.
As a result
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, mandatory
vaccination
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 can reduce pressure on healthcare systems and prevent unnecessary deaths and hospitalisations.
Body paragraph 3
Admittedly, some
people
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 may oppose compulsory
vaccination
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 because they believe
individuals
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 should have the right to make their own medical decisions. There can
also
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 be mild side effects after some vaccinations.
However
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, these concerns do not outweigh the wider benefits of preventing serious infectious
diseases
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, particularly when
vaccines
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 are properly tested and monitored.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that making
vaccination
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 mandatory is a positive development. It not only protects
individuals
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 from serious
diseases
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 but
also
Linking Words
 reduces their
spread
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 and helps safeguard the health of the whole community.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same to the end. To make the response even stronger, add one more real example of a disease spread or a health care problem that vaccines can stop.
task response
You deal with the other side fairly by talking about choice and side effects. You could explain more clearly why rules should still allow people who cannot take a vaccine for health reasons.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two main points, other view, and end. Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your link words, such as “First of all”, “Furthermore”, “For example”, and “As a result”, work well. To avoid a slightly repeated pattern, use a few more natural links such as “This means that” or “Because of this”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be joined more closely. For example, after saying that vaccines help older people and people with weak health, explain at once how this also helps stop disease spread in the whole group.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear positive view. Your main reasons are useful: vaccines protect people and help stop large outbreaks.
task response
The point about people who cannot take vaccines is especially strong. It shows that you understand how one person’s choice can affect others.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear topic and view, and the ending repeats the main message without adding a new idea.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical. The essay moves from personal health, to public health, to the other view, and then to a clear final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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