IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language when they are very young. - Do you agree or disagree with this view?

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
More and more people think that
children
Use synonyms
 have to start learning another
language
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others disagree
due to
Linking Words
 identity and cultural preservation. In my opinion, I believe that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is vital for having great opportunities for one reason.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, there are some people who believe that
children
Use synonyms
's identity could be negatively affected. What they mean is that learning another
language
Use synonyms
 is mostly related to learning another culture , which may conflict with their traditions, leading kids to refuse them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most families claim that learning another
language
Use synonyms
 may lead their
children
Use synonyms
 to neglect their native
language
Use synonyms
. A study published by Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that 45% of very young individuals who speak another
language
Use synonyms
 forgot their mother
language
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, neglect of learning culture and mother
language
Use synonyms
 are the main reasons why parents disagree.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
, I completely believe that knowing a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is a great skill for a very young person. In fact, learning at an early stage provides them enough time and effort, starting from letters to reading the news.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when these
children
Use synonyms
 grow up, they will be ready for good career opportunities around the world.
For example
Linking Words
, a 7-year-old kid in the United States has entered an institution to learn japanese
language
Use synonyms
, and they will speak two languages after graduation from high school and be ready for working in or out of the US.
As a result
Linking Words
, to get professional career chances, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 is essential to get enough effort and time.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some family preffer to teach their kids to obtain an additional skill, others argue that
this
Linking Words
 will badly affect their culture and national identity. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the former statement because of getting the appropriate career chances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main view more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you agree children should learn a new language when they are very young.
task response
Give two clear reasons for your view, not only jobs. For example, young children can copy sounds more easily, and they have more time to learn step by step.
task response
Explain the other view fairly, then show why it is less strong. A child can learn a new language and still use and learn their home language and culture.
task response
Be careful with facts such as the university study. If you cannot show where the fact comes from, use a general example instead. The example about the seven-year-old is not fully clear and needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Make the first body part clearly about the other view and the second body part clearly about your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “However, this does not mean that children will forget their own culture.” Then explain why.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “learning another language” many times. You can also use “learning a foreign language”, “this skill”, or “a second language”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the jobs paragraph, first explain why early learning helps, then give one clear example, and finally link it back to the question.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and make your own view clear.
task response
Your main reason about future work chances is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape, with an opening, body paragraphs, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “First of all”, “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: