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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that technology has made people’s lives easier, while others think it has created new problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, a new issue has arisen in our society
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Punctuation problem
:
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 some people believe
technology
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 has made life easier,
while
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 others think it has created new
problems
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. Both views have effects, especially in communication, time management, and other areas. I believe that if we are aware of how to use
technology
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, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
technology
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 has made
people’s
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lives
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 easier, as seen in transportation, internet connections, and electricity.
This
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 is because scientists discovered how ions and molecules move in electricity.
For example
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, summer products like tomatoes and cucumbers used to take around one month to reach their destination, but because of
technology
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, they now take no more than three days.
Therefore
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,
technology
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 has made
people’s
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lives
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 easier in their work, personal
lives
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, and daily routines. From my point of view,
technology
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 should be limited to improve its quality and make life easier.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others think it has created new
problems
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, and the evidence is clear,
such
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 as eye strain and reduced social skills.
In other words
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, we see many people wearing glasses and living lonely
lives
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.
For instance
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, my neighbour uses
technology
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such
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 as mobile phones for roughly eight hours, which creates big
problems
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 for his eyes, like irritation and dryness.
As a result
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, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. From my perspective, good regulations and appropriate use minimise
technology
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problems
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 to a minimum.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views highlight the pros and cons of
technology
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 in
people’s
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lives
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, which leads us to set up new regulations in different areas.
Therefore
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, I believe the government should monitor
technology
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 use across various aspects of
people’s
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lives
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 to make life easier.

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. Make your view the same all through the essay. In one part, you say the good side is greater. Later, you say the bad side is greater. Choose one clear view and keep it.
task response
Give more clear reasons for each side. For the good side, explain how phones, travel, or online work save time. For the bad side, explain how too much screen time can hurt health or time with family and friends.
task response
Use examples that fit the main point. The part about ions and molecules does not help explain why life is easier. The food travel example is useful, but explain more clearly how this helps people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each body part. In the first body part, talk only about ways technology makes life easier. In the second, talk only about new problems.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. Use simple links such as 'For example', 'Because of this', 'However', and 'As a result'. Make sure the sentence after each link clearly follows the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat 'From my point of view' in each body part. State your view in the start, support it in the body parts, and say it again in the end.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of technology, and you give your own view.
task response
You use real-life areas such as travel, phones, eye health, and time with other people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an opening, one part for each view, and a final ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
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