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Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate about whether it is the best approach in large cities to accommodate
people
Use synonyms
 in huge and tall apartment blocks. I firmly believe it is a bad approach to follow.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, building tall apartment blocks has several advantages.
Firstly
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, it saves more space;
in other words
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, building tall apartments prevents
people
Use synonyms
 from constructing multiple apartments next to each other , which sometimes can take up more space.
Secondly
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, a single building can accommodate a large number of
people
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.
For example
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, Egypt , which is most-known about their
tall
Punctuation problem
tall,
show examples
 huge residential buildings, can have up to three hundred residents.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, building high-rise apartments can decrease the standards of living, in terms of the facilities, it can be very busy and crowded,
such
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 as the parking area. Which might lead to traffic accidents. Another crucial point to consider, in some situations,
people
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 need to move quickly , especially in emergencies, and the crowd will make it difficult.
For instance
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, Jon Steve is a scientist, and he participated in a podcast and shared his story to the public, his apartment in eighty-fourth floor, and one day he had a heart disorder , and he tried to ask for help, but he could not because he could not reach the ground floor, thankfully, his neighbour is a doctor and helped him.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 both views have their merits, I believe building a tall flat has a bad impact on
people
Use synonyms
's lives , and it can lead their lives into danger, in both health and living way.

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task response
Your view is clear: you disagree. However, explain more fully why tall blocks are not the best answer. You could say that cities also need good roads, parks, schools, shops, and safe homes in smaller buildings.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. For example, do not only say parking is crowded; explain how too many cars, people, and lifts can make daily life hard.
task response
Use examples that sound real and are easy to check. The story about Jon Steve is very detailed but may not seem true. A general example, such as a fire or lift problem in a high building, would be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. Make the first body part shorter because it gives the other side, while your own view needs more space and detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the second body paragraph, separate the points about crowded shared areas and emergency escape, or link them with a clear sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Do not begin a new sentence with 'Which'. Join it to the sentence before: 'This can lead to traffic accidents.' Also use simple links such as 'As a result', 'For this reason', and 'In addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and have many commas. Write shorter sentences so that the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You consider both sides before giving reasons for your own view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses a clear four-part shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' help the reader follow the main direction of the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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