Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

6.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

There is a commonly held belief that

music

Use synonyms

is a beneficial way to bring

people

Use synonyms

from different

cultures

Use synonyms

and ages together.

Although

Linking Words

from a different point of view, I believe that

music

Use synonyms

can sometimes bring

people

Use synonyms

together and sometimes separate

people

Use synonyms

from each other.

Body paragraph 1

Initially

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

might be the universal connector for the world, and it can be a very important way to help

people

Use synonyms

explore different

cultures

Use synonyms

, and may contribute to bringing

people

Use synonyms

from different ages and

cultures

Use synonyms

from around the world together, because

music

Use synonyms

has a significant impact on

people

Use synonyms

's emotions,

such

Linking Words

as spreading love and kindness.

In addition

Linking Words

, there are several platforms that foster communication and develop cultural awareness.

For instance

Linking Words

, TikTok led

people

Use synonyms

to learn and explore different

cultures

Use synonyms

and get to know each other from different ages and countries.

Body paragraph 2

Ultimately, sometimes

music

Use synonyms

is used as a way to spread hate and anger between communities and countries.

In other words

Linking Words

, some government members force singers to sing about the bad political situations they go through or about other countries situation and

this

Linking Words

plays a vital role in promoting hatred. Another point to consider is that the differentiation in languages can limit

people

Use synonyms

from understanding the

music

Use synonyms

, which may act as a barrier to connecting

people

Use synonyms

from different cultural backgrounds.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there is some merit to the view that

music

Use synonyms

can play a role in bringing

people

Use synonyms

from different

cultures

Use synonyms

together, I believe it depends on whether

music

Use synonyms

connects

people

Use synonyms

together through apps and spreads love, positive energy and brings them together, or sometimes separates them with hate and anger.

Ali

Oct 12, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make your main view clearer in the first paragraph. You say music can both bring people together and pull them apart, but you do not clearly say which side you agree with more.

task response

Develop each main point with a fuller example. For example, explain how a song, show, or music event helps young and old people share a feeling or talk to each other.

task response

Be more careful with the point about hate. Explain who uses music in this way and how it can make people feel against another group. This will make the idea easier to follow.

task response

Use examples that are more directly about music. TikTok can be useful, but explain how music on the app, rather than the app itself, helps people learn about other cultures.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body paragraphs, and an end. To make the flow stronger, begin each body paragraph with a short, direct main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are very long and have many ideas. Break them into two or three shorter sentences so the reader can understand your point more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. Words such as “for example”, “however”, and “as a result” can show the link between ideas more clearly than repeating “sometimes” and “in addition”.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid unclear words such as “this” when it is not clear what “this” means. Name the idea again, for example: “This type of song can spread hate.”

task response

You answer both sides of the question and give a balanced view: music can join people, but it can also divide them.

task response

You include relevant ideas about shared feelings, culture, age, language, and online media.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear overall order: opening view, positive side, negative side, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion returns to your main view and sums up the two sides of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter •Say what the participants liked about the hotel. •Explain why they were unhappy about the food. •Suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future.
I am Shweta Bhat, CEO of ABC company. We had organised a meeting at your hotel on Monday 15th Dec,2024. I am writing this letter to inform you that the participants were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch to them.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people consider that the loss of individual species of plants and animals is the main environmental problem of our time. Attempts to preserve rare or dying species are carried out in zoos or other specialist plant and animal facilities, through breeding programmes, preservation orders and other forms of protection and there was genuine sadness among many when the last surviving white rhino died earlier this year.
7
band
It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying the fact that outdoor spaces are a must for all towns and cities. While it is a commonly held belief that it is crucial for all towns and cities to have huge outdoor areas like plazas and yards, there is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is important to have these places.
6.5
band
Topic:Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 65 can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?
It is true that in our contemporary era, elderly people's health has dramatically improved due to advancements in modern medicine. For this reason, many people argue that people over the age of 65 can lead vibrant and active lives . Therefore, people believe that senior members of our society can contribute significantly . This essay will explore how old people can be beneficial and provide relevant explanations.
6
band
Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school.do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantage?
Many argue that children ought to acquire a foreign language alongside their native tongue from primary school onwards. I wholeheartedly support this notion, as I believe that young minds are more adept at embracing fresh concepts and possess heightened learning capabilities. Furthermore, by the time they reach high school, they are already familiar with foreign languages, alleviating the pressure of additional subjects.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic:Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 65 can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school.do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantage?