Some people believe that schools should teach children how to manage money, while others think this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

It is often argued that

schools

Use synonyms

should educate

children

Use synonyms

about financial management,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

this

Linking Words

responsibility should rest with

parents

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

parents

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play a crucial role in shaping their

children

Use synonyms

's spending habits, I believe that

schools

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should

also

Linking Words

provide formal financial education, as both institutions can contribute to preparing young people for adult life.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand,

parents

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are well placed to teach

children

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how to handle money responsibly because they can demonstrate financial decisions in everyday situations.

For instance

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parents

Use synonyms

can explain the importance of saving a portion of their pocket money, comparing prices before making purchases, and distinguishing between essential and unnecessary expenses.

Such

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practical lessons can help

children

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develop responsible spending habits from an early age.

Furthermore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are familiar with their

children

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's individual needs and can offer personalised guidance that may be difficult to provide in a classroom setting.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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schools

Use synonyms

can ensure that

children

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receive systematic and comprehensive financial education. Not all

parents

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possess sufficient financial knowledge, and some may struggle to manage their own finances effectively.

Consequently

Linking Words

, relying entirely on families could leave certain

children

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without the skills they need.

Schools

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could address

this

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problem by teaching students how to create budgets, understand interest rates, manage savings, and avoid excessive borrowing.

For example

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, students who learn to plan a monthly budget may be better equipped to manage their income and expenses when they start university or begin working.

Such

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education could reduce the likelihood of financial difficulties later in life.

Body paragraph 3

In my opinion, neither

schools

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nor

parents

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should bear

this

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responsibility alone.

While

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schools

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can provide accurate information and structured lessons,

parents

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can reinforce

this

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knowledge through practical experience at home.

This

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combined approach would allow

children

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to understand financial concepts and apply them to real-life situations.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

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parents

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have a significant influence on their

children

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's financial habits,

schools

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can provide essential knowledge that some families may be unable to offer.

Therefore

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, cooperation between

schools

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and

parents

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is the most effective way to prepare

children

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to manage money responsibly.

rahatahmedboss

Oct 12, 2026

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task response

You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make the answer even stronger, add one short real example of a child or family situation.

task response

Your main ideas are clear: parents give daily help, while schools give fair and full lessons. You could also say more about why some parents may not have enough time or money skills.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two sides, your view, and end. Keep using clear paragraph starts like “On the one hand” and “On the other hand”.

coherence and cohesion

Your links between ideas work well. For a more natural flow, use a few different simple links, such as “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason”, instead of using the same pattern each time.

coherence and cohesion

The last two paragraphs repeat the same main point about schools and parents working together. This is fine, but you could make the final paragraph shorter and add no new detail there.

task response

You answer every part of the question. You explain both views and clearly state that schools and parents should share the job.

task response

The examples are useful and on topic, such as saving pocket money, checking prices, making a budget, and dealing with interest.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one clear main idea, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

The opening gives a clear plan for the essay, and the ending brings the main ideas together well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

343 words

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