Some peole believe that it is best to accept a bad situation. Such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both points and express your opinion.

No-one
Correct your spelling
No one
show examples
can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that unpleasant situations are inevitable in life and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they are difficult to cope with
such
as financial problems and unrewarding professions. Some say that it is a must to accept these hardships as they are
while
others believe that there has to be a practical attitude for making more effort to overcome the challenges.I would argue that the second group has a better point of view
due to
the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, acceptance of any difficulties can make a contribution to upholding an ordered lifestyle as it occupies an axial role in having a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
living.
Following
this
idea, some people persuade themselves to postpone their responsibility.
As a result
, it can lead to not making all attempts at doing their chores.
According to
a survey conducted by Tehran University, only clinging to a positive mindset, not only can be preventive, but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
anyone’s
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
.
On the other hand
, perseverance is an integral part of
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
life. What it means is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it’s of paramount importance to put all your efforts to achieve your desired purposes.
Hence
, laziness serves as a barrier to all your wishes. To cite an example, if you want to immigrate to a foreign country, you have to do
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
your best to get an acceptable score on the IELTS Exam. As far as I am concerned, diligence performs a key role in enhancing
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
level of our life. What it means is that effort paves the way for financial well-being and everyone has to burn his midnight oil to reach his objectives.
To sum up
, I would say that unsatisfactory jobs and
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
of money can have detrimental effects on our lives. There are two opposite approaches towards
this
issue. I believe that it would be a better idea to try your best rather than just
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
those conditions.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: