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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

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Introduction
In today’s rapidly evolving world, young
people
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 prefer leaving the
countryside
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 to live in urban
areas
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, leaving
Change preposition
to the countryside, leaving
show examples
 only senior citizens in the
countryside
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. I tend to believe that
this
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 trend can pose a threat to the agriculture industry and have a positive impact on
old
Correct word choice
older
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people
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’s
overall
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 well-being. To address these issues, from my perspective, governments should take appropriate action to support both younger and older
generations
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.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main
problems
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 of immigrating younger
generations
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 to urban
areas
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 is that it can negatively affect the agriculture industry, as when the number of younger workforces reduces in the
countryside
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, farmers may be faced with a lack of labour, which can reduce the potential of producing
foods
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food
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.
This
Linking Words
 ultimately can lead to food shortages.
Moreover
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, when young
people
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 live far away from their parents, their
opportunities
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 for face-to-face communication will decline.
This
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 can weaken family bonds and inspire a strong sense of loneliness in older
generations
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.
As a result
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,
this
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 can threaten senior citizens’
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.
For example
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, in Osku, many younger
generations
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 have moved into large cities, which has led to a reduction in agricultural products.
This
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 is mainly because older
generations
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 cannot take care of gardens and leave them abandoned.
Hence
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,
this
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 trend can lead to health
problems
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 and food shortages in the community.
Body paragraph 2
To tackle these challenges, authorities should provide advanced public services in the
countryside
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 for
people
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, particularly younger
generations
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, to encourage them to live there.
For instance
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, constructing advanced schools can allow young
people
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 to continue their education
while
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 accessing top-notch facilities, enabling them to improve their academic performance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, governments should create new
job
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opportunities
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 in
such
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areas
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, which enable young
people
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 to have a
job
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 in their interested fields. Building healthcare centres allows the younger generation to take a
job
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 in the healthcare
area
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sector
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can give local
people
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 easy access to the healthcare system
while
Linking Words
 creating numerous
job
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opportunities
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.
Conclusion
From my perspective, immigrating young
people
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 to urban
areas
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 can lead to serious
problems
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, including food shortages and health
problems
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, particularly among older
generations
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. To address these issues, governments should invest in public services and create more
job
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opportunities
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 in the
countryside
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.

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task response
Answer both parts clearly. The essay gives problems and answers, but one idea is not clear: it says the move has a good effect on old people, but the body says it makes them lonely and harms their health. Keep one clear view.
task response
Develop each main problem more fully. Explain why fewer young farm workers can mean less food, and explain how less family contact can affect old people day by day.
task response
Make the solutions more direct. Better schools and health care may help, but say why young people would stay. Add ideas such as better pay, roads, internet, homes, or help for small farms.
task response
The Osku example fits the topic, but give a little more detail. Explain what happened to farms and how this affected local people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, problems, solutions, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use one paragraph for each main point. In the problems paragraph, first discuss farming and then discuss old people. Add a short link between these two ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are repeated, such as “This can” and “As a result”. Use other simple links, such as “because”, “therefore”, “also”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer word groups. For example, write “the migration of young people” or “young people moving to cities”, not “immigrating younger generations”.
task response
You discuss both the problems and the actions that governments can take.
task response
The ideas about farm work, food supply, family contact, schools, and jobs are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main purpose, and the final paragraph brings the main ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “For example”, and “Furthermore” help the reader follow your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural exodus
  • workforce decline
  • social services
  • cultural erosion
  • economic stagnation
  • depopulation
  • infrastructure burden
  • generational gap
  • policy interventions
  • economic diversification
  • rural infrastructure
  • community-based projects
  • mobile healthcare
  • communal ties
  • incentive schemes
  • urban influx
  • village abandonment
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