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Writing Samples
Band 3

Marriage is seen as an important part of life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying a person at a young age? Explain.

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Introduction
It has been observed that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Marriage in many countries
an
Verb problem
is an
show examples
 important part of
life
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
last
Linking Words
 years some socitey begain marriage
life
Use synonyms
 from a young
age
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the main advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 marriage at
young
Add an article
a young
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age
Use synonyms
is created
Correct subject-verb agreement
are creating
show examples
 your own family
,
Punctuation problem
. For example
show examples
for Example
Linking Words
, if you marry your soulmate in early
time
Check wording
age
show examples
, and get
pregnet
Correct your spelling
pregnant
 after
marrige
Correct your spelling
marriage
, you will have your first child in your begain of your 20.
Linking Words
furthermore
Capitalize the word
Furthermore
show examples
, you can start everything with your love of
life
Use synonyms
, it is significant
most
Correct word choice
that most
show examples
 of the socities start
mariage
Correct your spelling
marriage
 at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
My
Fix capitalization
my
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 best friend was married when she was 22, and she
feel more happy
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels happier
show examples
 than before, because she
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 a perfect
life
Use synonyms
 with her husband in early
age
Use synonyms
, and
know
Use the right word
now
show examples
 she focus in her goals with her children.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other main disadvantages
,
Verb problem
are that
show examples
 you will be more responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many things,
for Example
Linking Words
, responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cleaning your house, take serious
dissions
Correct your spelling
decisions
, figure any
issue
Check wording
issues
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you should protect
you
Correct determiner usage
your
show examples
 children,
while
Linking Words
 you have another resposibles like work, social
life
Use synonyms
 and time for yourself.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, I firmly agree with start marrige
life
Use synonyms
 at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Although
Linking Words
 there are many disadvantages,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the main advantages
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
 important.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question: good and bad points of marriage at a young age. To make your answer stronger, explain each point more fully. For example, say how early marriage may help people grow together, but may also make study or work harder.
task response
Your main view is clear in the end. However, the question asks for advantages and disadvantages, so keep a fair view through the whole essay. Add one more clear advantage and one more clear disadvantage.
task response
Your friend’s story is useful, but it is only one case. Add a more general example, such as young parents having less money or less time for school and work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Make the first sentence clearer. For example: “Marriage is important in many countries, and some people marry at a young age.”
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, write about family life and growing together. In the second, write about money, work, study, and less free time.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Start points with “First,” “Also,” and “However.” Do not use “For example” too many times. Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences are hard to follow. Use shorter sentences. For example: “Young married people have more duties. They must look after the home, make big choices, and care for their children.”
task response
You give clear good points, such as building a family early and sharing life goals with a partner.
task response
You also include real problems, such as house work, child care, work, and less time for yourself.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” helps the reader see the main parts of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending clearly states your own view about young marriage.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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