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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Air pollution and water pollution are becoming serious problems in many countries. What are the causes of these problems, and what measures can governments and individuals take to solve them?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays,
air
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 and
water
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pollution
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 have become serious environmental problems in many countries. Industrial activities, vehicle emissions, and improper
waste
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 disposal are major causes of these issues. I strongly believe that governments and individuals must work together to tackle
pollution
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 and protect the environment.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, industrial activities and road traffic contribute significantly to
air
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pollution
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. Factories release harmful gases into the atmosphere,
while
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 cars and buses produce exhaust fumes that reduce
air
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 quality.
Consequently
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, people who live in heavily polluted areas may suffer from respiratory problems and other health issues. To address
this
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 problem, governments should introduce stricter environmental regulations and encourage people to use public transport.
This
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 would reduce vehicle emissions and improve
air
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 quality, particularly in crowded cities.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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,
water
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pollution
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 is another major environmental concern. Some factories discharge untreated wastewater into rivers,
while
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 individuals throw plastic bags and other rubbish into lakes and waterways.
As a result
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, aquatic animals may die, and contaminated
water
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 can threaten human health. Governments should ensure that factories treat their wastewater before releasing it into rivers. At the same time, individuals should dispose of
waste
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 responsibly and recycle plastic products whenever possible. These measures would help preserve natural resources and protect aquatic ecosystems.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
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 to these measures, public awareness is essential for reducing
pollution
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. Schools should educate students about environmental protection,
while
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 communities should organise cleaning campaigns. If people adopt environmentally friendly habits, they can make a substantial contribution to a cleaner environment.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
air
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 and
water
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pollution
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 are mainly caused by industrial activities, vehicle emissions, and irresponsible
waste
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 disposal. I believe that strict government regulations, effective
waste
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 management, and public cooperation are essential to reducing
pollution
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 and ensuring a healthier future for the next generation.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question well. You explain key causes and give actions for both the state and people. To make the answer stronger, add one clear real-life example, such as rules for factory smoke or a city bus plan.
Task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic. You could explain one or two ideas in more depth. For example, say how checks and fines can make factories clean dirty water before it goes into rivers.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: air pollution, water pollution, then public action. Each paragraph has one main point, so it is easy to read.
Coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. Try not to use too many links at the start of sentences; sometimes join ideas in a more natural way.
Coherence and cohesion
The end sums up your main points clearly. You may make the third body paragraph even closer to the question by showing more clearly what governments and people should each do to raise public awareness.
Task response
You give clear causes: factory work, car fumes, and poor waste care. You also give useful answers, including strict rules, public transport, water treatment, recycling, and school learning.
Coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear view, the body paragraphs follow a sensible plan, and the final paragraph brings the main ideas together well.
Coherence and cohesion
Cause-and-effect links are used clearly. For example, you show that dirty air can harm health and dirty water can harm people and animals.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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