Some people believe that the government should spend more money on supporting elderly people, while others think that investing in young people’s education is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction

People

Use synonyms

have different opinions about how the

government

Use synonyms

should allocate its funds. Some individuals argue that more funds should be spent on

Use synonyms

elders

Check wording

the elderly

show examples

because they are getting

old

Correct word choice

older

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and require greater care and attention. Others think that

education

Use synonyms

plays an essential role in the

overall

Linking Words

development of individuals,

Fix capitalization

show examples

more money should be allocated to

this

Linking Words

sector. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views, and I think

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

followed

Wrong verb form

show examples

a balanced approach for the betterment of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, the

government

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should spend money on

Use synonyms

elders

Check wording

the elderly

show examples

because they

already

Verb problem

have already

show examples

contributed to the stability of the economy, especially throughout their working years. After contributing

for

Change preposition

show examples

the nation for so long, it becomes the responsibility of the

government

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to show

their

Fix the agreement mistake

its

show examples

concerns towards senior citizens.

For example

Linking Words

, older

people

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should receive free medical

check-up

Check wording

check-ups

show examples

and essential medications, as they are more vulnerable to illnesses

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and age-related diseases. With adequate financial support from authorities,

elders

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feel more valuable, and live longer when their diseases are

cure

Wrong verb form

cured

show examples

earlier.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, young

people

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are like the pillars of the country, and the

government

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should invest in the

education

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sector to secure their bright future. Quality

education

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is significantly important for developing

skill

Check wording

skills

show examples

sharpen

Wrong verb form

sharpening

show examples

their mind,

improves

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

their thinking ability, and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

them more innovative. When

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

starts to spend money on colleges and universities,

then

Linking Words

students get better opportunities to succeed in life.

For example

Linking Words

, modern classrooms and training programmes

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them more creative, and they choose professions

such

Linking Words

as doctors, engineers, and businessmen for serving better to

the

Verb problem

serve the

show examples

communities

Rephrase

better.

show examples

this

Linking Words

way, they not only improve the economic situation of the country but

also

Linking Words

make society healthier than ever.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both

elders

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and young

people

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deserve financial support from the

government

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, as each group plays an important role in society.

While

Linking Words

senior citizens need proper care because they have contributed to the nation throughout their lives, young individuals require quality

education

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to build a strong future for the country.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a balanced approach

Change preposition

show examples

spending can ensure that both groups live better, healthier, and more productive lives.

kaurjagdeep2097

Oct 14, 2026

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task response

Discuss both sides in the same depth. Your view is clear, but explain more why a fair split of money is better than giving most money to one group.

task response

Make your main ideas more exact. For older people, you can talk about health care, homes, and help with daily life. For young people, explain how better schools can help jobs and the country in the long run.

task response

Use examples that are more real and clear. For example, say that free health checks can find illness early, while money for teacher training can help students learn more useful skills.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link between each idea smoother.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main point in each body paragraph, then explain it fully before you move to the example. This will make your writing easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. Words such as 'On the one hand', 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In contrast' are useful, but do not add a comma where it is not needed.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence form, as some sentences make the meaning less clear. For example, write 'the government should follow a balanced approach', 'skills', 'improve', and 'are cured'.

task response

You answer all parts of the question: you explain support for older people, support for education, and give your own view.

task response

Your ideas are on topic. Health care for older people and better schools for young people are good main points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well planned. The reader can easily see the introduction, the two views, and the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion clearly repeats your main view that both groups should receive support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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