IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professional such as, doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Other believe that they should be free to work in the other countries discuss

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Introduction
In modern days,
part of
Correct determiner usage
many
show examples
 people trust that experts
including
Correct word order
apply
show examples
,
doctors
Change preposition
including doctors
show examples
 and engineers, shoud essential to
work
Use synonyms
 in the nation where they
did learning
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
. Other
parts
Check wording
people
show examples
 believe that they should go abroad to
work
Use synonyms
, which means they might have more
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 than others.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one hand,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 the experts choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they earned their knowledge, it
swould
Correct your spelling
would
 be
complex
Add an article
a complex
show examples
 problem for their personal life. The reason is they barely managed to graduate
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 university
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad, and
then
Linking Words
 they
continuously
Verb problem
are continuously
show examples
 working
in that
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
must
Correct pronoun usage
, which must
show examples
 be difficult. They can't see their family
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 or
missing
Wrong verb form
miss
show examples
 their home
country
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can impact their mental health by working alone in other countries, even though you can be friends with somebody in that
country
Use synonyms
, it will not feel
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 as in your home
country
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, there will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several
advantage
Check wording
advantages
show examples
 of working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
For instance
Linking Words
, you are able to earn
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 amount of
wage
Check wording
wages
show examples
 and experience just working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad with other experts. With that
experience
Add a comma
experience,
show examples
 you can teach
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youth in your
country
Use synonyms
,
which they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can
able to
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
get excellent
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Also
Linking Words
, there might
other
Verb problem
be other
show examples
 elders
might
Correct pronoun usage
who might
show examples
 say "You are just fading away from your mother
country
Use synonyms
".
This
Linking Words
 is meaningless,
which
Correct word choice
as you are
show examples
 just
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 that you are developing
next
Add an article
the next
show examples
generations
Check wording
generation
show examples
.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
, people should stop
stop
Verb problem
thinking
show examples
 that professionals do not have to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad. They are trying to earn experience that can teach
for
Change preposition
the
show examples
 next generations.
Also
Linking Words
, they would get
more
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
 wage than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own
country
Use synonyms
, which they can
support
Verb problem
use to support
show examples
 their family more
easy
Replace the word
easily
.

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task response
Answer both views in a clear way. The topic asks if doctors and engineers should stay in the country where they trained, or be free to work in other countries. Your first main part talks about people who studied abroad, so it does not fully answer the first view.
task response
State your own view clearly in the introduction and repeat it in the end. For example, say that skilled workers should be free to choose, but governments should give them good pay and jobs to make them stay.
task response
Give one clear reason for each side. The stay side could be that a country needs doctors and engineers after paying for their study. The free-to-go side could be better pay, new skills, and work with other experts.
task response
Use a real or clear made-up example. For example, a doctor can work in another country for some years, learn new ways to treat people, and later return home to help more patients.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, reasons to stay, reasons to go, and conclusion. Keep each paragraph on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words: "On the one hand", "On the other hand", "For example", "However", and "In conclusion". Do not use "In one hand".
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence follows the one before it. In the first main part, the idea changes from working in the training country to being away from home. Explain this link more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about pay and helping the next group. Add one new point in each paragraph instead.
coherence and cohesion
Check basic sentence form and word choice. Write "should be required", "studied", "working abroad", "a high wage", and "more easily". These changes will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear reason for working abroad: people may get better pay and useful work experience.
task response
You try to explain how new skills can help young people in the home country.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking phrases, such as "For instance", "Moreover", and "Overall", to show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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