Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Introduction
More and more
people
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think that
technology
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and social media are good means to bring
people
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together,
while
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others claim that
this
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is not true. From my perspective, I agree with the former statement for improving community ties.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, some
people
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believe that the advanced technologies these days are negatively affecting the grouping of
people
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. Today, there are many tasks that can be accomplished by smartphones,
such
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as asking a scientific question or getting advice.
This
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makes
people
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not ask their friends or experts about different topics, so they will be less interactive. A study conducted in 2025 by Melbourne University concluded that 75% of students in school buses in Melbourne did not ask each other about subjects or daily topics.
Therefore
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,
this
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is how advanced devices have a bad effect on grouping
people
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.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, supporters of modern
technology
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claim that it has affected communication between
people
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positively. These devices have the ability to send and receive messages from far places.
Moreover
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,
instead
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of sending emails, they use mobile phones to call their families and friends and share beautiful moments with them.
This
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can be seen when a foreign employee calls their brother after a working shift.
Furthermore
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, I completely believe that advanced
technology
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strengthens community ties through calling anyone at any time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are a lot of
people
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who have an idea about the bad aspect of
technology
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in keeping
people
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together,
while
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others say the opposite. In my opinion, I am firmly convinced that smart technologies have enhanced
people
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's communication
due to
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the ease of use and the ability to bridge long distances.

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task response
You answer both views and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why phone calls and messages build real ties, not only make contact easier.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some are too short. Add one or two more steps of explanation after each point. For example, say how asking a friend for help can build trust, and how too much phone use can stop face-to-face talk.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The bus study is very exact, but it is not explained well and may not be needed. A simple example from work, family, or friends would be more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: one side, the other side, then your view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. Words such as “First of all”, “In addition”, and “Furthermore” are used well, but some links need a full reason. For example, explain why doing tasks on a phone leads to less talk with other people.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same. You use “grouping of people”, “community ties”, and “keeping people together”. These do not all mean the same thing. Use simple words like “social ties”, “close relationships”, or “talk with others” throughout.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph starts with the view of supporters, but it should also state your main point in a direct way. For example: “On the other hand, technology can bring people closer when they live far apart.”
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and clearly state that technology can bring people closer.
task response
Your example of a worker calling family after work is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and they match your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your essay easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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