Some people say that all wild animals should be protected, and others say that only some animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Wildlife protection has become an issue of considerable debate, with some people claiming that all
animals
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should be protected.
While
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others maintain that we should only protect some of them.
This
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essay will examine both of the opinions and give reasons why I support the latter idea, believing that only
animals
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in
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on
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the brink of
extintion
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extinction
and those
species
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that are ecologically friendly should be chosen to protect.
Body paragraph 1
Who
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Those who
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advocate
the
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for the
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protection
to
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of
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all
species
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may think that human activities are the culprits of the threats towards
animals
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.
This
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is because human activities directly or
undirectly
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indirectly
have damaged the habitats and disrupted the ecosystem on an unprecedented scale.
For instance
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, human
behaviors
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behaviours
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such
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as industrialisation, urban expansion,
deforestation
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and deforestation
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have imposed danger on numerous
species
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, leading to their
popultion
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population
decline. Unlike the environmental changes, all these were caused by the
human's
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human
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demand for economic growth and
martial
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material
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consumption.
For
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this
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reason, it is unfair for those
species
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to
extinct
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become extinct
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due to
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human's
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human
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intervention. In
this
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sense, humans are holding
unshakable
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an unshakable
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responsibility to save all the
animals
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.
Body paragraph 2
Others believe that even though humans are accountable for
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species'
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the species'
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hardship, it is neither financially feasible nor
necessarilly
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necessarily
positive to take all of the wild
animals
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into
accounts
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account
show examples
.
Due to
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the limited resources governments possess, they should choose the endangered mammals and those
who
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that
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are beneficial to the ecosystems. If not, the financial support towards specific
species
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could be too
thinly
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thin
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,
making
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mitigating
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the effect
to
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on
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their protection
mitigated
Verb problem
apply
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. What is more, if some
species
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groups remain relatively stable in the
pupulation
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population
for a long period, it is not necessary to
intervenir
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intervene
. If not, it may
conversely
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cause
the
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apply
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damage to the ecological balance.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, I reckon that governmental
supports
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support
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to those
species
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who
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that
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are at the brink of
extinc
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extinction
or ecologically friendly
are
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is
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necessary.
However
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, authorities should consider their financial ability and the
potencial
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potential
risks
yield
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posed
show examples
to some of them and the ecosystem.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. However, your main idea needs more care. Saying that only animals that are “ecologically friendly” should be saved is not clear. Many animals help nature in different ways, even if people do not see this.
task response
Explain more clearly why some animals should not get the same level of help. For example, say that money can first go to animals that may soon die out, while other animals can still be watched and helped when needed.
task response
Your example about building, cutting down trees, and factories is on topic, but it is very general. Add one real or clear example, such as forests being cut down for farms and animals losing their homes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one view, then the other view, then your ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the wording is not natural. For example, change “financial support towards specific species could be too thinly” to “money for each animal group could be too limited.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more carefully. “For example”, “because”, “however”, and “as a result” will help show how each idea leads to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. You use “animals”, “species”, and “species groups”. This is fine, but do not use unclear phrases such as “those who are beneficial to the ecosystems” when you mean animals.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and state your own view clearly.
task response
The point that governments have limited money is useful and well linked to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the ending returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, which gives the essay a good overall shape.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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