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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used to what extent do you agree

5.0 / 9
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Introduction
Over the years, technology have change human's life. One example of
this
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 is education, where the
books
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been relevant for many years.
However
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, with the new
technologies
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technologies,
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 it is becoming more popular
the
Change preposition
to
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use
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 of didactive tools,
such
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 as videos or computers, for teaching. For that reason, some people believe that the new technologies should
remplace
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replace
books
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. In my personal opinion, I believe that
although
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 the digital era
had bring
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has brought
show examples
 new tools, it is important to keep using
books
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 in the classrooms.
Body paragraph 1
There are three main reasons
of what
Change preposition
why
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 should not be replaced.
Fristly
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Firstly
, the more
tecnological
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technological
, the more expensive.
For example
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, if
an
Correct article usage
a
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 school
request
Correct subject-verb agreement
requests
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 that every child has a tablet or laptop to bring to class, some families would not be able to
affort
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afford
 it.
For
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this
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 reason, the
use
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 of
books
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 will reduce the
finantial
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financial
 stress in the families
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will keep children with the same opportunities to
learnt
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learn
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.
Secondly
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, the devices have a shorter lifespan,
while
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 a book
have
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has
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 a longer and
resistent
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more resistant
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 lifespan.
For instance
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, a laptop is limited by
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 battery, which each time
of
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it is used
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use
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 will reduce
it
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its
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 ability to be
disconected
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disconnected
. Because of that, they are designed to be
replace it
Wrong verb form
replaced
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 after a specific period of time,
whereas
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books
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 can
be still
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still be
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 used.
Body paragraph 2
Finally
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, it is
knonw
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known
 that informational
books
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 are more reliable
that
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than
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 internet sources. Because published
books
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 have to be reviewed by professional pior its publication,
while
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 everyone can post whatever they want on
internet
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the internet
show examples
. For that reason, if
books
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 are
not
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no
show examples
 longer used, it would be more difficult
to
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for
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 the children to recognise reliable data.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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,
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apply
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 devices can bring new
interactives
Replace the word
interactive
 tools, never
do
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 be replaced by them because
its
Fix the agreement mistake
of their
show examples
 low cost, longer lifespan and reliability. It is suggested that the
use
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 of both will be a
considerable
Rephrase
considerably
show examples
 better approach in the educational system.

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task response
Your view is clear: books should stay in class, but computers and videos can also help. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why each point matters for learning, not only for cost or how long a book can last.
task response
The point about false or weak internet information is useful. Add a clear example, such as a child using an unknown web page for a science task, to show why teacher-checked books can be safer.
task response
Be careful with the question wording. It asks about books being stopped in schools. State your level of agreement very directly in the first paragraph, for example: “I disagree that schools should stop using books.”
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, three reasons, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. Your first body paragraph has two ideas, cost and how long devices last. Put these in two separate paragraphs so each idea has more space and support.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a natural way. Words such as “First”, “Also”, “Finally”, and “In conclusion” are enough. Do not repeat “For that reason” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order is not clear. For example, write “There are three main reasons why books should not be replaced” instead of “There are three main reasons of what books should not be replaced.”
task response
You answer the main question and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
You give three useful reasons: lower cost, longer use, and more trusted information.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and the conclusion gives a balanced idea: schools can use both books and digital tools.
coherence and cohesion
Examples about families buying laptops and books being checked before print help connect your ideas to real school life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy
  • Comprehension
  • Visual learners
  • Digital tools
  • Interactive resources
  • Attention spans
  • Tactile experience
  • Annotating skills
  • Accessibility
  • Text-to-speech functionalities
  • Overexposure
  • Eye strain
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