IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

News editor decide what is to print in newspaper or broadcast on news channel. What factors do you think influence their decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Is it better to have more good news on media?

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
I certainly believe that the
news
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Use synonyms
editors
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editors'
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 decisions are mainly influenced by the government in a
country
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. When the
country
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 faces any economic or financial loss,
then
Linking Words
 the ruling governments put pressure on
news
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editors
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 not to publish or print in
newspaper
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newspapers
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 anything against them.
Additionally
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, they can
also
Linking Words
 be fired from
job
Correct determiner usage
their job
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or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 their
news
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 channel can be banned. As an illustration,
Body paragraph 1
Another significant factor which impacts
on
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apply
show examples
news
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editors
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editors'
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 decisions on reporting is to receive
high
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a high
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 rating. To elaborate,
news
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editors
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 look for
such
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news
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which are
Correct subject-verb agreement
that is
show examples
 more appealing towards general public, including information about
personal
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the personal
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 life of a celebrity, or a
politision
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politician
. To quote, the
news
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 of getting married
third
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for the third
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 time by Shahid Afridi, a renown cricketor in Pakistan, got
high
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a high
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 rating in GEO
News
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 channel because
this
Linking Words
 was
an
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apply
show examples
interesting
news
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among
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to the
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 public.
Body paragraph 2
I feel that we have become used to bad
news
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. The primary reason is that
news
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editors
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 most of the
times
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time
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 publish exciting or bad
news
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 on media to attract more audience. By having
negative
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mostly negative news
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news
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 mostly, it
become
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becomes
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 normal for
general
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the general
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oublis
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public
 to assume the
news
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 is
bed
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bad
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, even before reading in
newspaper
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the newspaper
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 or watching on TV.
Body paragraph 3
I staunchly think it is not beneficial for audiance to have more good
news
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 on media.
Although
Linking Words
 people feel positive about the
country
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, I strongly believe awareness about future
uncertainaties
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uncertainties
 is more imperative. When people know about corruption,
financial
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the financial
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 condition of a
country
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, and
cost
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the cost
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 of goods
;
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,
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 they plan their daily
task
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tasks
show examples
accordingly
Linking Words
 to ensure how to save themselves
form
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from
show examples
 corruption.
For instance
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, in
Vietname
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Vietnam
, people use more public transport, after
knowking
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knowing
 the high petrol prices on media.
Conclusion
In conclusion, during the time of
news
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 reporting,
news
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editors
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editors'
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 decisions are affected by
the
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apply
show examples
government pressure and
to prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 interesting
news
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 more.
Furthermore
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, in geneal public bad
news
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are
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is
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 more common because
such
Linking Words
news
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are
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is
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 published the most,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
publishment
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publication
 of negative
news
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 crucial for future
uncertian
Correct your spelling
uncertain
 conditions.

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task response
Answer all three questions in a more direct way. Explain why editors choose bad news, why people may get used to it, and why a mix of good and bad news is best.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, explain how government pressure works, and say why high ratings can make a channel choose shocking stories.
task response
Your view on good news is not fully clear. You say good news is not helpful, but then talk about the need for bad news. State clearly that media should report both good and bad news, with real facts.
task response
Use examples that clearly prove your point. The example about petrol prices is useful, but explain how this helps people plan their travel or spending.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, factors that affect editors, bad news and public habits, then your view on good news. Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the first body paragraph or remove the words “As an illustration,” because no example follows them.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “However,” and “In conclusion.” Do not repeat “I strongly believe” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph match your main points. Say that editors are affected by power and public interest, and that news should give a fair picture of both problems and positive events.
task response
You address all parts of the question and give your own view.
task response
You use relevant ideas, such as government pressure, public interest, and the need to know about rising prices.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and it includes both an opening and a closing paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Several examples help the reader understand your ideas, especially the example about fuel prices and public transport.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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