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Writing Samples
Band 5

Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In the modern world, it is undeniable that
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
 has become a substantial part of our lives. It is often argued that
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
 has a more prospective influence on society.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some may disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view, I entirely agree that
advertisement has
Correct subject-verb agreement
advertisements have
show examples
 a beneficial impact on us because it helps in public awareness and
also
Linking Words
 in economic growth.
Body paragraph 1
One of the most apparent
reason
Check wording
reasons
show examples
 why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view is that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 play a significant role in
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 awareness.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because they provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful information about
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 their benefits. So it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 easy for people to buy new things as they already know about their features.
For example
Linking Words
, now in
this
Linking Words
 present era, it has become very easy for customers to select their
desire
Replace the word
desired
 things as they have knowledge about different
products
Use synonyms
. Online
advertisements
Use synonyms
 keep them
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 about all the details of things,
such
Linking Words
 as their prices, quality, and benefits.
Body paragraph 2
Another point that should not be overlooked is that
advertisements
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 play a crucial role in economic growth. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that companies advertise their new designs and innovations,
when
Correct word choice
and when
show examples
 a large proportion of individuals buy their
products
Use synonyms
, it ultimately
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 their sales and
also
Linking Words
 profits.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
business
Use synonyms
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 fast.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays, many small online
business
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 promote their
products
Use synonyms
 through good quality
advertisements
Use synonyms
 to attract the attention of
large
Correct word choice
potential
show examples
 customers.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to expand their
business
Use synonyms
, as both sales and production
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
.
Conclusion
To encapsulate, I completely agree that
advertisements
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a very essential impact on our daily lives.
This
Linking Words
 is because they facilitate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 development and
also
Linking Words
 provide citizens
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 news of
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
 trends.

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Task response
Your view is clear: you agree that ads are good. To make it stronger, explain why the good points are more important than the bad points, such as false claims or too much buying.
Task response
Your two main ideas fit the question: ads can give useful news and help business grow. Add more detail about how this helps people in daily life.
Task response
Your examples are linked to the main ideas, but they are very general. Use one clear real-life example, such as an ad that tells people about a health service or helps a small shop find new buyers.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear plan: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each main part has one key idea, so it is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas with commas. Split them into shorter sentences so the links between ideas are clear.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example, do not put “Although” before a full idea unless you finish the contrast in the same sentence. You can write: “Some people disagree with this view, but I fully agree.”
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “also” and “this is because” many times. Try other simple links, such as “In addition”, “As a result”, and “For this reason.”
Task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same clear view from the opening to the ending.
Task response
The points about public awareness and business growth are relevant and easy to understand.
Coherence and cohesion
The main parts are in a logical order, and the ending sums up your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as “For example” and “As a result” help show how your ideas connect.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising
  • product
  • information
  • impact
  • positive
  • life
  • business
  • job
  • choice
  • customer
  • exciting
  • learn
  • happy
  • sell
  • growth
  • event
  • special
  • price
  • sale
  • support
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