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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays, the
internet
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 is an important part of our lives.
People
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 use it every day to communicate, study, work and have fun. In my opinion, the
internet
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 has made life much easier,
although
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 it
also
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 has some disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, the
internet
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 helps
people
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 communicate quickly. In the past,
people
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 had to wait a long
time
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 to receive letters. Today, they can send messages or make video calls in just a few seconds.
For example
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,
people
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 who live in different countries can talk to their families and friends easily.
Secondly
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, the
internet
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 is very useful for students. They can find
information
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, watch educational videos and learn new things online. If they do not understand a school subject, they can search for explanations on the
internet
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. Online shopping is
also
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 convenient because
people
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 can buy things without leaving their homes.
In addition
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, many
people
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 use the
internet
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 to pay bills and manage their money.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, the
internet
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also
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 has some disadvantages. Some
people
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 spend too much
time
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 on social media and forget about their studies or other important activities. Another problem is that some
information
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 online is false.
People
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 should be careful and check if the
information
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 is correct.
Also
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, sharing personal
information
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 online can sometimes be dangerous.In my experience, the
internet
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 is very helpful in everyday life.
For example
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, when I need help with my homework, I can quickly find explanations and examples online. It helps me understand difficult topics and save
time
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that the
internet
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 has made life more convenient in many ways. It helps
people
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 communicate, study and do everyday tasks more easily.
Although
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 it has some disadvantages, I think its advantages are greater.
People
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 simply need to use it wisely and not spend too much
time
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 online.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to “to what extent” in the first part. You say life is “much easier”, but you can say more clearly that the internet has made life convenient to a great extent.
task response
Develop each main idea a little more. For example, explain how online banking saves time, or how online study helps people who live far from a school.
task response
Your own example is useful, but it is quite short. Add one small, real detail about a hard school topic and how an online video or site helped you learn it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: main good points, problems, your own experience, and a final view. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Put a space after full stops. For example, write “easily. Secondly,” and “dangerous. In my experience,” so that each new idea is easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “However”, and “In conclusion” work well. You can also use simple links such as “As a result” or “For this reason” to show how one idea leads to another.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph about online study, shopping, bills, and money has many ideas. Split it into two paragraphs, or give more space to one or two ideas, so the reader can follow your points more easily.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear view: the good sides of the internet are stronger than the bad sides.
task response
You use good, relevant examples, such as video calls with family in other countries, online learning, shopping, and paying bills.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well. Your final paragraph repeats your main view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main purpose, and the ideas move in a natural order.
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