In many countries, people are working longer hours than ever before. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on individuals and society?

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Introduction
In offices and factories around the world, the working day has quietly stretched well beyond the traditional eight hours.
This
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essay will argue that the trend stems chiefly from the rising cost of living and the pressure that technology places on employees, and that it damages both personal health and family life.
Body paragraph 1
The principal cause of longer hours is financial. Wages in many countries have failed to keep pace with the price of housing, food and education, so employees take on overtime or a second job simply to maintain the standard of living their parents enjoyed on a single salary. In Casablanca,
for instance
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, many young professionals drive for ride-hailing apps in the evening because their daytime pay no longer covers the rent. Closely linked to
this
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is the role of digital devices. Smartphones deliver emails and messages at every hour, and staff who ignore them risk appearing uncommitted, so,
consequently
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, the boundary between the office and home has almost disappeared.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the effects of
this
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pattern are far from harmless. The most serious is the toll on health, since chronic lack of sleep and rest raises the risk of heart disease, anxiety and burnout, and exhausted workers make more mistakes than rested ones.
Moreover
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, families pay a heavy price. Parents who return home after their children are asleep miss the daily conversations that build trust, and,
as a result
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, the next generation grows up with less guidance than it needs. Society as a whole suffers too, because communities depend on volunteers, local clubs and neighbours with time to spare, and all of these fade when every spare hour is sold to an employer.
Conclusion
In conclusion, longer working hours are driven by stagnant wages and constant connectivity.
However
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, their cost in damaged health, weakened families, and thinner communities is far greater than any extra income they bring.

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task response
You give clear causes: high living costs and work messages at all hours. You also cover effects on people, families, and the wider world.
task response
The example of workers taking a second job is specific and fits the main point.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what causes and effects you will discuss, and the ending returns to these same ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is strong: causes come first, then effects. This makes the essay easy to read.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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