Some people believe that schools should teach practical skills such as cooking, managing money and repairing things, rather than academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Schools have long debated whether their main task is to fill young minds with knowledge or to prepare young hands for work.
While
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some argue that lessons in cooking, carpentry and finance would serve most pupils better than algebra and poetry, I largely disagree with
this
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view, because academic study builds the thinking that every job eventually demands, and useful life skills are best learned alongside it rather than
instead
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of it.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case for a more practical curriculum is not without merit. Many pupils leave school able to analyse a poem yet unable to read a payslip or repair a broken tap. In Morocco,
for instance
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, thousands of graduates struggle to find employment
while
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factories in Tangier cannot fill technical posts. Closely linked to
this
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is the question of motivation, since a teenager who sees no connection between the classroom and real life often simply stops listening.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, replacing traditional subjects would be a serious mistake. The most important reason is that mathematics, science and literature train the mind to reason, to weigh evidence and to express ideas clearly.
As a result
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, these abilities transfer to any career,
whereas
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a particular manual skill may be obsolete within a decade. Workers in the textile mills of Casablanca,
for example
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, lost their jobs when the machines changed,
while
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those with a broad education retrained quickly.
Moreover
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, a narrow vocational education closes doors early. A child who is steered towards plumbing at fourteen may never discover a talent for medicine, and,
consequently
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, society loses the doctors it badly needs. In my view,
therefore
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, schools should keep their academic core and add a modest number of practical lessons, so that every pupil leaves with both a trained mind and useful hands-on abilities.
Conclusion
In conclusion, hands-on skills are valuable and too often neglected, yet they cannot replace the intellectual foundation that academic subjects provide. On balance, the two should be taught together, with knowledge at the centre.

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task response
Make your main view even more clear in the first part. Say that you do not agree that practical skills should take the place of school subjects, but that they should be added.
task response
Your ideas are well developed. To make them even stronger, explain how schools could add life skills, for example through one class each week or short work with local groups.
task response
The examples help your points. Make sure each example is clearly linked back to the main idea, so the reader can see why it proves your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: view, other side, your main case, and close. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “as a result”, “moreover”, and “therefore” work well here, but do not use too many in one part.
coherence and cohesion
The long main body part has several ideas. You could split it into two parts: one on thinking skills for work, and one on how early job study can limit a child’s future.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view all the way through.
task response
You consider the other side fairly before explaining why you do not fully agree.
task response
Your points about thinking skills, changing jobs, and future choice are clear and well supported.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear map of your answer, and the ending brings your main view back in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Each part has one main job, and the ideas move in a smooth, easy-to-follow order.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words help the reader follow the cause, result, and contrast between ideas.
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