IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work for a small company. You need to arrange for some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: explain why you want to take time off work give details of how long you will be away suggest how you will make up for the lost time

5.5 / 9
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Dear Mr Ebadi, I am writing to request some
time
Use synonyms
 off work, as the pressures of
workplace
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the workplace
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 have recently placed
consideravly
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considerable
 pressure on my mental health and significantly reduced my concentration on my tasks, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 decline
of
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in
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 my productivity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I decided to have some break to recharge my batteries. If my request is possible, I will take a break from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work for a week from September 21 to September 28.
This
Linking Words
 can provide me with enough
time
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 to go on a trip with my family to my hometown, spend quality
time
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 with them, relax, and clear my mind. To make up for the lost
time
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, I complete urgent tasks in advance and do some of my tasks through online platforms
such
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 as
Anydesk
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AnyDesk
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I contacted Mr Hahemi to do some of my duties in my absence. Thank you for your consideration and
time
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. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Mohammadreza Hadavi

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task response
Give a more work-based reason for the leave. You can say that you need time to rest and return to work with better focus. Also, make your plan clearer: say which urgent jobs you will finish before you go and which jobs Mr Hashemi will do.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: reason, dates, and work plan. To make it flow better, use clear links such as “First”, “During my leave”, and “Before I leave”. Keep each sentence short and check that each main idea is in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use the right form in a few places: “the pressures of work”, “a considerable amount of pressure”, “take a break from work”, and “I will complete urgent tasks”. These changes make the meaning easier to follow.
task response
You answer all the main parts of the task: why you need leave, how long you will be away, and how you will deal with your work.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a good opening and closing, and the three main body paragraphs are in a clear and useful order.
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