Should parents be obliged to immunize their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children? Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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compulsory immunization for the most important disease is a vital activity for governments. Some people believe that it should not be a force for parents,
however
, I suppose individuals don't have the right to avoid vaccination. I will discuss
this
issue in my essay. On the one hand, a wide range of illnesses exist nowadays, so all members of society are prone to be involved with them,
therefore
preventing the of spread well-known diseases will be necessary.
Consequently
, vaccinating newborn children and helping them to be prepared to deal with the symptoms should be a strict rule for every individual who wants to live in society.
For example
, some diseases are epidemic and if one of the students of a particular class gets that
due to
the lack of immunization, other students are prone to get the same infection and it would be the fault of his or her parents.
On the other hand
, in some cases, the consequences of having a specific vaccine might be dangerous or have numerous side effects, in these conditions, parents have the right to avoid having them.
Additionally
, expenses are another prominent measure in dealing with
this
issue, a huge number of the public might not have the ability to afford safety items for their kids, so the healthcare system of countries should provide sufficient equipment for every family to access it easily. In conclusion,
while
getting immunization items should be compulsory for everybody, governments should provide enough facilities for their citizens to avoid spreading disease and boost health levels.
Submitted by ostorr7213 on

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good start but can be improved with a clearer thesis statement. It’s essential to clearly state both the views before delving into your opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that all the ideas discussed directly address the task. While you have provided a response, expanding on the counterarguments and supporting them with more precise examples will strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clearly presented, the logical flow between them can be enhanced. Use more linking phrases and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Although you have an introduction and conclusion, make sure they are robust. The conclusion should succinctly restate the main points and reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both views on the topic, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and paragraphs are clearly distinct, which aids readability.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported logically, and you have made an effort to explain your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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