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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.

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The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities.
The line graph illustrates the maximum and minimum of daily temperatures, measured by degrees in
celsius
Capitalize the proper name
Celsius
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the bar
char
Correct your spelling
chart
 demonstrates the average number of days with rainfall during 12 months for two major cities in
australia
Capitalize the proper name
Australia
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the temperature
flacuates
Correct your spelling
fluctuates
 monthly in these two cities in
australia
Capitalize the proper name
Australia
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,
brisbane
Capitalize the proper name
Brisbane
show examples
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mostly
rainful
Correct word choice
rainy
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 weather over the period,
while
Linking Words
canberra
Capitalize the proper name
Canberra
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
, remain relatively stable throughout the period.
looking
Capitalize the word
Looking
show examples
 at the temperatures in these cities, the maximum and minimum
temperature
Check wording
temperatures
show examples
 in
brisbane
Capitalize the proper name
Brisbane
show examples
 started and ended around the same level. A similar pattern can be observed in
canberra's
Capitalize the proper name
Canberra's
show examples
 maximum and minimum temperatures, they all went down in summer and recovered from
augest
Correct your spelling
August
 to
december
Capitalize the proper name
December
show examples
. Regarding the average of rainfall, the winter in
brisbane
Capitalize the proper name
Brisbane
show examples
 has
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extensive rainfall weather start fron january to
may
Capitalize the proper name
May
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, and
went
Wrong verb form
lasts
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 until
october
Capitalize the proper name
October
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, which
recovered
Wrong verb form
recovers
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 after
october
Capitalize the proper name
October
show examples
 to
december
Capitalize the proper name
December
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 canberra remain relatively stable except from
june
Capitalize the proper name
June
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 to
november
Capitalize the proper name
November
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average daily maximum
  • average daily minimum
  • monthly temperature
  • degrees Celsius
  • rise steadily
  • fall gradually
  • reach a peak
  • hit a low point
  • remain relatively stable
  • seasonal pattern
  • temperature range
  • rainfall days
  • wettest month
  • driest month
  • a higher figure
  • a marked difference
  • slightly warmer
  • by contrast
  • respectively
  • throughout the year
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