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Band 6

Some people believe that artificial intelligence will soon replace teachers in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In the modern era, many people depend on machine intelligence to write essays, find answers, and help them with their studies with just one click. I largely disagree with
this
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 statement because teaching involves far more than simply transferring information to
others
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, artificial intelligence is now becoming an important part of our lives.
Furthermore
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, it helps
learners
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 understand topics more effectively by providing explanations based on their individual needs.
Additionally
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, AI-powered
applications
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 can focus on one student at a time, which is difficult for
teachers
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 to do in a
classroom
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 full of students.
For example
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, pupils in remote villages can use online learning
applications
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 to prepare for national examinations when qualified tutors are not available in their schools.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, AI-powered
applications
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 can explain topics to
learners
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, but
teachers
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 can recognise the pain, nervousness, and hesitation that pupils may experience
while
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 learning.
Moreover
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,
classroom
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 learning helps
learners
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 develop social skills,
such
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 as communicating with
others
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 and giving presentations in front of an audience.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
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,
learners
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 can learn skills beyond academic subjects through
classroom
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 activities,
such
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 as participating in group discussions, sharing ideas, and cooperating with
others
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.
For example
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, a teacher in Morocco might stay after school hours to provide additional support to students who struggle with their studies.
This
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 shows that
teachers
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 can offer personal guidance and encouragement that technology cannot fully replace.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that
classroom
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 learning helps scholar develop the social skills needed to work with
others
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 in their future careers.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that AI-powered
applications
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 should assist
teachers
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 rather than replace them.

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task response
Make your main view even more clear in the first paragraph. Say that AI can help teachers, but it cannot take their place.
task response
Explain more fully why human care matters. For example, show how a teacher can see when a child is upset, shy, or not ready to speak.
task response
Your examples fit the topic. Add one more clear link after each example to show exactly why it proves that AI should not replace teachers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: AI help, then the limits of AI, then your final view. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The two body parts about social skills are close in meaning. You could join them, or make one part focus on feelings and the other on group work.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer starting words like “Furthermore” and “Moreover”. At times, a simple new sentence will make the writing sound more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word choices. In the last paragraph, use “students” or “learners” instead of “scholar” because you are writing about children at school.
task response
You give a clear view and keep this view from the start to the end.
task response
You include useful, real-life examples about village schools and a teacher giving extra help after school.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point, and the final paragraph clearly brings your ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “For example” help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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