In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Today, electronic payments are used in a wide range of regions. The majority of the population agrees that it brings massive convenience to their everyday lives as they don't need to carry
cash
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all the time anymore. Based on
this
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trend, I believe that business owners will replace
cash
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payments with e-payments in the near future. Unfortunately, some elders and parts of the youths are not satisfied with
this
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improvement. It might be a challenge for older generations to solve the payment issues in markets that are caused by their smartphone technology.
For instance
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, my mother always calls me to check the operation of a certain step to check out which makes her feel complicated and wastes both of our time.
Apart from
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this
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, bad eyesight is another obstacle for old people since the instructions on their phone screens are too small for them to read. Because of
this
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, they have to carry a pair of glasses with them, compared with using
cash
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, causing extra inconvenience for them.
Therefore
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, they prefer the traditional ways more and they are not satisfied with the change. As far as private concerns, some young people feel anxiety about
this
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trend because they worry that records of daily expenses can be shared with other organizations or business owners.
An evidence
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Evidence
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of
this
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can be seen from the truth that after people pay for a training club, they get phone calls from another
center
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centre
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, offering a better discount.
Thus
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, they feel unhappy and dangerous as their personal payment records are shared or tracked freely. In conclusion,
although
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there are downsides to paying without
cash
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, I believe
this
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is a trend in our society that the e-payment system will replace the traditional method in the future.
Submitted by careyche on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task achievement, ensure you directly address all parts of the question. Consider strengthening your argument by presenting a more balanced view that covers both sides of the issue more evenly.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim for clearer paragraphing by separating ideas more clearly and using a variety of linking phrases to connect your ideas. Additionally, maintaining a clear logical flow will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Supported Main Points
To boost your score in this area, try to clarify and expand your main points with more detailed arguments and examples. This will make your stance more persuasive and your essay more engaging to the reader.
Introduction & Conclusion Present
In your conclusion, strive to effectively summarize your argument, ensuring that you restate your opinion in a way that reflects the discussion in your essay. This helps to reinforce your stance and gives your essay a strong finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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