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Writing Samples
Band 7

Life in many cities around the world is becoming so expensive that one day only rich people will be able to live there. What are the causes of this situation? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

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Introduction
Living in big cities has become much more expensive in recent years, making many
people
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 worry that only rich
people
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 can live there in the future. There are two main causes of
this
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 problem, but some simple solutions can be implemented to address it.
Body paragraph 1
Two main factors cause the rising cost of city life. The first cause is that many jobs are available in big cities, which leads to a strong desire for
people
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 to move and work there.
As a result
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 of
this
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 population growth, there is a very high demand for accommodation.
This
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 high demand results in higher house prices and expensive rents, so low-income workers cannot afford to buy or rent a place. The second cause is that living costs like food,
transport
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, and eating out are
also
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 increasing because city life is attractive to tourists and businesses.
Consequently
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,citizens struggle to pay for their daily needs.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, governments can take clear measures to solve these issues. One effective solution is to control the rental prices by setting a maximum legal price limit for landlords.
This
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 law will prevent property owners from increasing rent too high, resulting in more affordable living costs for local residents. Another solution is to improve public
transport
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 systems,
such
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 as buses and trains, and offer discount fares for workers. Because of cheap
transport
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,
people
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 can live in cheaper areas far from the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and commute easily.
Therefore
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, daily spending for citizens will be reduced significantly.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the main causes of high living costs in cities are job availability and high housing demand.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be solved if governments apply rent control laws and improve cheap public
transport
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 systems.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the task: causes and ways to help. To make the response stronger, explain each cause and each plan in more depth. For example, show why jobs in cities make home prices rise, and explain how rent rules can help both renters and home owners.
Task response
Your ideas are clear, but they stay quite general. Add one real or made-up example, such as a worker who has to move far from the city because rent is too high. This would make your main points more full and clear.
Task response
Be careful with very strong claims. Saying the problem can be solved may be too strong. It is safer to say these steps can reduce the problem or make city life more fair.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, two cause points, two plan points, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with a little more care. The word "because" at the start of "Because of cheap transport" is not needed. Write: "With cheap transport, people can live in less costly areas..."
Coherence and cohesion
Some links repeat the same pattern, such as "The first cause" and "The second cause." This is clear, but you can make the flow more natural with links like "In addition" or "Another reason is that..."
Coherence and cohesion
Check small spacing and word form issues, such as "Consequently,citizens." Leave a space after the comma. Also, "increase rent too high" is more natural as "raise rent too much."
Task response
You stay on the topic throughout and give direct answers to both questions.
Task response
The causes are easy to understand: more jobs bring more people, and more people raise the need for homes.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by an effect or reason. This makes the essay easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly sums up the main causes and the main plans without adding new ideas.
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