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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some
people
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 believe that watching
movies
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 in the
cinema
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 is an unnecessary waste of time and money, because our mobile phones offer us platforms to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 for free and conveniently. Others,
however
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, argue that
cinema
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 as a place of entertainment provides a complete experience that cannot be replaced.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are many specific reasons why
people
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 prefer watching
movies
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 at home rather than in the
cinema
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. Perhaps the most significant motive is the high prices of tickets, which, in turn,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 becoming increasingly costly for
cinema
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 users.
In addition
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, complaints about loud noises are becoming more frequent,
as well as
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 for poor facilities, food on the floor, among other things. Given all these disadvantages, it is to be expected that
people
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 will prefer watching
movies
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 in the comfort of their homes, on platforms offering hundreds of films and series whose subscription costs almost as much as a movie ticket.
However
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, many users of Netflix or Cuevana
,
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apply
show examples
 end up addicted to these platforms, which significantly affects their productivity and well-being.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
cinema
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 has traditionally been a meeting place and entertainment that offers a unique immersive experience. Going to the
cinema
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 is more than just sitting down to watch a movie
,
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;
show examples
 it’s passing outside and seeing the movie listings, waiting for your companion in the cafeteria,
staying
Correct word choice
and staying
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 in the dark in front of the screen. All these moments are part of the emotional memory of many
people
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, and explain in a way why
cinema
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 still works as it always did.
Furthermore
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, the dimensions of the
theater
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theatre
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, the quality of the film, and the clarity of the audio
,
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apply
show examples
 create a captivating atmosphere for the viewer
that is
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 impossible to replicate at home.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 modern devices provide greater flexibility and convenience when watching
movies
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, prolonged screen time can have negative effects on health and social interaction.
Therefore
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,
while
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 home viewing is practical, I believe that visiting the
cinema
Use synonyms
 occasionally remains valuable, as it offers a richer and more satisfying entertainment experience.

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task response
You cover both views and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more directly why a phone or tablet can meet people’s needs, not only why the cinema has problems.
task response
Keep every point closely linked to the question. The part about people becoming addicted to Netflix or Cuevana is not fully developed and does not clearly help your main point about where to watch films.
task response
Use more clear, real examples. For example, say that a parent may watch a film at home after work, while a group of friends may choose the cinema for a new action film.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, home viewing, cinema viewing, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not join smoothly. For example, the sentence about high ticket prices and the next sentence about noise and poor facilities could be joined with a clearer link, such as “Other common problems include...”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear or unnatural phrases. “Passing outside and seeing the movie listings” is hard to understand. You could say, “walking past the cinema, looking at the film posters, and meeting a friend before the film.”
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. In the home-viewing paragraph, keep the focus on cost, comfort, and choice. If you mention health or addiction, explain its link clearly or move it to the conclusion.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss home viewing, cinema viewing, and your own opinion.
task response
Your opinion is clear: home viewing is useful, but the cinema gives a fuller experience.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will do, and the conclusion returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful links such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion.”
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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