IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Scientific research should only be carried out by govt and not be private companies. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people defend that public funding should be
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 in scientific research,
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on private funding. I highly agree that scientific research
leaded
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 by the government could boost major developments in health and science in detriment of private funding.
Firstly
Linking Words
, government investment in science can lead to improvements in different areas of a country.
For example
Linking Words
, public funding for investigations on illness and vaccine discoveries could result

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that the government should lead scientific research. However, the essay stops in the middle of the first main point. Add a full second main point, explain it, and write a short ending that repeats your view.
task response
Answer the full question more closely. The question says research should only be done by the government, not private companies. Explain why private companies should not have this role, or say if they can still help under government rules.
task response
Develop each idea with a clear reason and result. For example, say how public money can help all people, while private companies may focus on making money.
task response
Use specific examples, but finish them. Your example about illness and vaccines starts well, but it needs a full result, such as cheaper vaccines or help for poor areas.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple full plan: introduction, first main paragraph, second main paragraph, and conclusion. At present, the writing has an introduction and the start of one paragraph only.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear order: main idea, explanation, example, and result. This will make your points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use basic linking words carefully, such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “However”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use a linker unless the next idea clearly follows.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear wording. “In detriment of private funding” is hard to understand here. Use a simple sentence such as: “This is better than depending mainly on private companies.”
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start, and it answers the main topic.
task response
The health and vaccine example is relevant and can become a strong example if you explain it fully.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear paragraph opening, “Firstly”, which shows the reader that you are starting your first reason.
coherence and cohesion
Your first main idea is easy to identify: government support can improve health and science.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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