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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, majority of people tend to migrate to cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in cities. Discuss both views

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Introduction
In the modern world, there are dozens of
people
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 who tend to move to the
cities
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 rather than live in the countryside.
While
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 I understand the desire of some individuals to stay in the village, I have a belief that city life has more advantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, most of the
cities
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 are quite noisy and busy.
As a result
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, one can't fully connect with nature and be on its own most of the time.
For example
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, the locals of big Ukrainian
cities
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,
such
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 as Kyiv or Lviv, have to ride for about 30 kilometres to have a picnic or swim in the river.
Moreover
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, as
such
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 activities become popular among
people
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, most of these territories are now paid
and
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for and
show examples
 should be booked in advance.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
cities
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 open possibilities, making it impossible to stay in the countryside.
People
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 tend to move out of the village to make money and build a career. When succeded, most of them prefer to stay there and build a family rather than come back to their hometown.
As a result
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, there is an accumulation of successful
people
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 living in
cities
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 , and most of the villages have not grown during the
last
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 decade.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite the fact that life in a village can be more enjoyable, I tend to believe that city life is a way for a person to discover himself, take risks and become successful.
Moreover
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, with the development of modern technologies, it is possible to create a comfortable place for yourself even in the city centre to reconnect with nature.

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task response
You discuss both city life and village life, and you give a clear view that city life is better. However, make the good points of city life more direct. Add ideas such as more jobs, better schools, and health care.
task response
Your example about Kyiv and Lviv supports the point about being far from nature. Add one clear example for jobs or work in cities, so both main parts have equal support.
task response
Be careful with very strong claims. “Cities open possibilities, making it impossible to stay in the countryside” is too broad. Say that cities can make it hard for some people to stay in the countryside.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow. Keep this four-part plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The first body part is about bad sides of cities, but it also talks about village life. Start it with a clearer main idea, such as: “One disadvantage of city life is that people have less time and space to enjoy nature.”
coherence and cohesion
Use links carefully. “On the other hand” works well for the second main part. You can also use simple links like “First”, “Also”, “For this reason”, and “However” to show how each idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences need clearer form. For example, write “When they succeed” instead of “When succeded”, and remove the space before commas: “cities, and” not “cities , and”.
task response
You answer the main question and give your own clear view from the start to the end.
task response
The Kyiv and Lviv example is real and useful. It helps the reader see why city people may feel far from nature.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main direction: problems with city life first, then chances for work and success.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly returns to your main view and gives a final reason for it.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment opportunities
  • career prospects
  • higher salaries
  • better standard of living
  • public services
  • higher education institutions
  • specialist medical care
  • efficient public transport
  • cultural facilities
  • professional network
  • high cost of living
  • affordable housing
  • traffic congestion
  • long commuting times
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • overcrowded neighbourhoods
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • green spaces
  • mental well-being
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